Time... time... Precious Time

Time is always ticking and whatever that has happened in the past hour, can never be rewinded nor be brought back again. I have been living with this statement in my mind over the years since my late teenage days. And maybe it was also the reason why it made me different when compared to a lot of people at my age then.

I always appear stronger, tougher and more mature in my thoughts and decisions since my then days. This is because I know, if we do not live life to the fullest or to treasure even a single moment spent in it, we will live to regret over a simple or stupid decision we have made earlier.

So far, I am proud to say that I have never regretted over any of my decisions EXCEPT for not paying good attention in school during my secondary school days - mainly due to the fact that I was too playful then. This was also the turning point for me to buck-up and move on in life and telling myself never to repeat the same stupid action again.

Even like now, for the reason that I have decided to forgo my intention to continue with my Masters, I seriously do not feel a wee bit of regret, because I know whatever decision that I make now, I am sure to have given it due thought.

I am the type of character that is persistent and adamant at getting what I want to accomplish within the right timeframe given, if not for a shorter period - and done with perfection. Can say that I am a perfectionist when it comes to delivering whatever task that I choose to lay my hands on. And if I do not achieve my goal or the standards that I have set for myself, I would get pretty upset over it. But, I also have something which counters this rigid feeling of mine. Let's say I have decided to do something, and I did gave it my best shot - yet, I could not achieve it, when I release it or give-up later - I will have no regrets because I know I did my best. Likewise, if I choose to give-up without giving it a shot - I WILL regret it for life! And this is something which I have not been doing for a long period of time - for as long as I can remember.

So, right now - I am seriously going to put some precious time for my family, and not going to miss out on catching on my kids' growing up years after I have decided to let go the pursuance of a Masters degree. And I am 110% sure that God is going to make both my family and work life a great phase in life which I will never forget.

Have a great and productive week ahead peeps! And God bless ya!

Latest Cut

I believe I reviewed about my earlier hairdo experience with Hair Perfect, and results were horrifying despite after spending an exhorbitant RM408.00 just for a professional hair-cut, colouring and its combo-treatment which crumbled my entire crowning glory in just under 2 hours to be exact.

Just Saturday i.e. 18th April 2009, after my orthopeadic consultation, I had decided I needed a "spirit-lifter" and went for my much-needed hair cut after not having a hairdo ever since my incident which was in mid-January 2009. This time, I was comtemplating either to get my haircut done at Extreme or APT ~ which both also are well-known hair salons with their own academy for learning. And as Nick was having an intention to visit an aquarium mall, which is located diagonally opposite APT, I decided that I should give them a try.

Their professional cut was only RM43, and an additonal RM5 for the wash too ~ this is considered reasonable compared to where I used to patronize back in 2005 and 2006 i.e. Baptain where the professional cut alone is RM55 without a wash too.

I was immediately ushered in and given a selection on the choices which I wish to have for my hair, and the professional hair-stylist was instantanously summoned to attend to me. Pardon me, I forgot to get his name ~ silly me! He greeted me with a smile and asked me of my intention. Without further a-do, he felt my hair and suggested a style and thickness that will suit me best - and asked if I am fine with his suggestion, which I gladly agreed.

So, he went on to snip away my extra length, gave me a personalised hair-wash (which in many hair salons will be handled by the helpers a.k.a. shampoo assistants), blowed-dry my hair and continue to complete the haircut to reach the perfect style that he has recommended.

The best part about this salon is, they DO NOT sell or pursue you to use their products, and neither do they literally "force" you to do some kind of treatment, or colouring if you do not have any intention to do so. They strictly let the customers rule!

The only question the stylist asked me was, what option would I like to have for my choice of shampoo, and when I voiced "scalp-care", he mentioned he has, and that will be an additional charge of RM3 - which I am happy to know. So, the total bill was only RM51, and this was the end result... complete with my mineral make-up look...

The Contemplation

Hmmm..... what's running in my mind these days? I really feel like giving up on continuing with my Master's considering that my workload is widening and my health is deteriorating.

It was just yesterday morning I made the decision after my scan results were made known to me. I am now on long-term glucosamine/condrophil prescription due to hereditary arthritis, and an old spinal bone fracture that has been causing excruciating pain whenever I sit on hard surfaces for a period of time. The sad part is ~~ nothing can be done about with these two findings other than taking precaution and care. As for the old-fractured bone, if the pain has reached a point where it is unbearable, my only option is to get an operation done to remove that out-growned portion which has been causing my pain.

As for my hereditary arthritis, other than long-term on glucosamine, I will need to take a continuous span of 10-14 days of painkillers (without stopping mind you) to subdue the inflammatory as and when there is a potential flare-up. And this will be a long-term routine for me also.

And what will happen if I choose not to take the painkillers to stop the flare-ups? The answer is: more injuries will happen to my spinal bone which will result in more pain for me as the years piles on. And those "injuries" will continue to deteriorate the state of my spinal bone, and the worst result will be very visible in 10-15 years time from now - which by then, there will be no option other than to undergo an operation if I do not take the adequate measures now.

Saddening news isn't it? Anyway, whatever it is, I am sure God has His ultimate plan for me. He knows what I can endure, and what I can't endure. Studying for my master's will require me to sit a lot, and to spend long hours either at lecture halls, or at home on weekdays and also on weekends.

Honestly, if I choose to stop studying - no doubt I DO feel the "pain" of letting go, but I believe it will definitely be a better option for me in preparation of what is expected from my family by mid of next year. Studying allows me with very little or practically "zero" time left for my children, and what more with this bone issue of mine ~~ I can NEVER carry anymore heavy things, which will include my children *boo hoo hoo...*. But, anyhow I still believe ~ my family and children needs me more than anything else in this world. And no doubt as much as I love to add an extra paper for my qualification, I just do not have enough time capability to accommodate or satisfy that need of mine.

I still have yet to call up the university to inform them of my decision as I am still 50:50 over the entire issue ~ I am a practical stubborn Choleric Sanguine who likes to control everything without at times trusting to let go of the reins to God for control! (still remember my closest brother-in-Christ called me a stubborn mule!). But to proceed with it will need me to bear an extra brain and pair of hands ~ that is for definite! So, what should the decision be peeps?

The Impossible Thought

Sometimes I just wished I had more than a pair of hands and an extra brain. Time is so inadequate for me these days, and I can hardly accomplish what I need to do within the deadline with my current physical ability.

Sounds shocking I know to you, but I have been struggling pretty hard to cope with both my workload and my study load in between my family commitments. Most of my friends really salute me for what I have "dipped" my head into.

Sure is tiring, but I believe God has His plan for me with what was laid in front of me. I am sure that He will not test me beyond my limits. If I could breakthrough this stage, I strongly believe I will achieve yet another milestone in my life.

So, till then..... I might not be able to blog that often - no doubt I actually have lots of stories to share but allow me to "figure" myself out to that right momentum before I could afford to squeeze another activity into my already overflowing daily schedule.