Marriage... who needs it?

Frankly, why do we need to be married anyway if being married will not bring you more happiness but more heartaches?

Speaking from a women's point, why would a woman decides to tie the knot with a man whom she feels that she would want to spend the rest of her life with? Technically, is it just love and companionship alone? Or building a future with that person? Or is that someone is a person that you cannot live without?

I agree that marriage is never a bed of roses nor will it be on cloud nine as most young in love would think. Marriage is all about commitment, bonding and strengthening the relationship despite whatsoever difficulties that having a family would be. There will not be a bed of roses if both parties do not play their part in making the marriage run smoothly and successfully. And this will take a lifetime to make things work as hurdles and challenges get tougher by the year and by the decade with the constantly increase in one's age and probably with the shortening of one's patience and temper.

Despite being married for more than a decade, I still find marriage an uphill challenge for me to keep up with. As patience draws shorter, and tempers flares more often, disagreements and arguements is hiking up the ladder. And depression sets in.

Very often, trivial issues will ignite the spark and generate into a massive fire that will end up hurt both parties badly. Why can't the understanding level be deeper now despite being together for more than a decade? Why can't the level of tolerance be greater when things could be done and resolved in a better manner? Why would hurtful words be hurled to the a loved one that once was protected far away from hurt? Why can't after a decade, both do not see better through each other's eyes but distancing from one another by the day? Why would one take the other for granted and never gave a second thought if what actions or words would cut the feelings of the other? Why would spending time with a loved one seems more like a dutiful chore rather than something that's needed from the heart? Why would the asking for a little time from a loved one be like a challenge to do when one is in the midst of doing a chore that can wait? ~ I still can't find answers to the questions that thronged my head constantly. Worse of all, why would one wants to stay in a marriage if she can't get any happiness and satisfaction out of it? Why should she still be tied in marriage when she has been busy caring for everyone and none bothered about her in return ~ more like an "ah sum" to everyone, but queen to none.

I think I might go bonkers soon...

Dragging my 2 feet!

How many of you will feel as if both your legs weighs a thousand pounds each side when Sunday nights rolls to an end and Monday mornings strikes the time for you to pull out of bed and get yourself ready for work?

That is exactly how I had been feeling for the past few months since I lost my great mentor and another great colleague at my workplace. I had not been getting the "recharged" energy of going back into my old speed, focus and mind ever since both of them stepped out of the plant to venture into other personal interests.

I believe many of you who have added me in your Facebook contact list would find my rants on work stress and crazy work-schedule a little too hectic or more like too much to bear as for the past months that rolled along. Well, this post of mine will provide you with a better window or answer on why I had gathered this negative-charge for work as well as Depression that happened in the last couple of months back.

To cut long story short, we all understand and know that sh*t happens in every organisation that we work in. It's a matter whether can you accept it and work along with it or you do not jive with it, you just move out from it. Same theory applies here in my post. The earlier times we had was tremendously hectic with long working hours, short or frequent no lunch or dinner breaks and usually we don't get to see the sun that often (guess you should understand what I meant here ~ we'll be at work at 7am and will only walk out of the plant after the sun has retired). No doubt our lifestyles were more fit for zombies, but we were a damn happy team and we enjoyed everyones company within the team.

Just like a fairytale movie, when everything is nice and smooth, there comes Cruella. And also just like Dalmation 101, our Cruella is also a lady (minus the crazy toned hair and ugly features) but a heart that matches the evil-rate of Cruella's if not for more. And she has her side-kick also that replicates her character that has been giving my immediate superior the hardest time in managing her. So, what more can I express from here... conflict and clash of personalities happens, my boss decides to call it quits and serves her notice to end her service with the organisation.

That's when all hell broke loose... everyone in the team (except for Cruella's sidekick) was so distraught by her sudden decision, but being with her and experienced the same thing she has been experiencing, we all understood that this is the best option for her since she had 2 encounters of having her blood pressure shot up to 150 due to disagreements at work. And my senior team-mate who has more than 20 years of seasoned experienced decided to leave the pack in view that the leadership is not a good one to continue the battle for. So, what's left behind? The top level people were so worried that I'll be the next to go, sent a representative from Singapore to come in to fill the gap for the temp moment while they hunt for the 2 replacement, and they came in to do damage control with me ~ persuading me not to "go look" and be with them, and they will take good care of me *rolling my eyes in disbelief, but not trusting a word that was said to me*.

Technically, whatever that needs to be done has been highlighted, and whatever that needs urgent attention has been neglected by rightful authorities without a single glance or thought. Well, that's why when my superior decided to call it quits, she totally had no qualms left behind as she has done all she can in her ability to do and salvage what she can.

So now... what that is left of me is being half-heartedly in my job, and I no longer possess the urge, the courage, the strength nor the spirit to go on working for people that I feel do not deserve my respect nor my hardwork in slogging the extra 10 miles like what I used to do before.

If any of you would have alternative advise or suggestions, I would really welcome them.

Voice after the Long Silence

I had to agree that my blog had been "dead" for the last five months to be exact. And I am really terribly sorry for the MIA period as there has been multiple happenings in my life that literally left me speechless or more like wordless, and I could not express my thoughts, feelings and mind.

Well in short, I have been spending my last 1 year in my current employment, which in fact happened to be one of the most life-changing phase in my career life of 15 years. I could not agree more that I have learnt the most important thing in life during my last one year of working life ~ LIFE!

Technically, I lost my life ever since starting my journey in my current employment. I totally had no time for myself, my family or even a holiday out of Penang! Can you imagine that? Even if I were to travel, they are all genuinely business trips that are back to back without any slots for personal use.

In truth, I have to admit that I am really very tired of this lifestyle and I am really longing for more spare time for quality things in life such as my family and my children. Try imagining the pain I felt when I heard my baby started calling my maid as "mama" *wuaahhhh* ~ That's it! That made me made the point of decision in my life ~ if I do not do something with myself and my not-for-human schedule, either my family is going to disown me or I am going to get lost myself.

So, while I am crossing my fingers and praying that the next decision that I am planning in my life to happen smoothly and gain success gradually with hardwork, please do keep me and my dreams in your prayers too. *hugs & kisses*

"Locked" at Home

As alarming as my topic of this entry may sound, my children and myself have been "locked" at home since Monday. In direct words, we self-quarantined ourselves.

Why is there a need to do so? Many of you will be asking me in return. Reason is Shawn has gone for swimming last Friday and he started having fever, flu, sore throat and coughs on Sunday. We tried to give him plenty of fluids, rest and some Panadols, but his fever never subsided. In fact, it turned furious on Monday morning in the wee hours and shot up to 39 degrees celcius. We sponged him and had ice-cubes wrapped with towels placed on his head to prevent the heat from going higher.

Early Monday morning, I quickly brought Shawn with James and Lucas in tow all to the clinic for immediate medical assistance. James and Lucas both have flu and cough individually but minus the fever. Doctor informed me to stay indoors, avoid public areas and to refrain myself from others with a minimum distance of 3 feet away – for the fear of any potential AH1N1 virus that I might carry.

Though Shawn is not a confirmed AH1N1 case, and his fever subsided in the afternoon till the wee hours on Wednesday morning (that’s right – early this morning). I had developed mild fever since early Tuesday morning till present, as my mild fever did not go away. I made another trip to the doctor’s early this morning fully dressed ready to work right after I obtain clearance from them that I can go in to office to work. I think you should know the answer why I have time to blog about this when I am at work – yup! No clearance was granted as my mild fever has to be monitored by the doctor.

So, I thought of sharing some information I found via the world wide web with all, since most of us still can’t draw the line between a common cold and the much feared AH1N1 influenza and some health tips to keep ourselves at bay from the viruses :-

Common cold, is a contagious, viral infectious disease of the upper respiratory system, primarily caused by rhinoviruses (a picornaviruses) or coronaviruses. It is the most common infectious disease in humans; there is no known cure, but it is never fatal. Though it is never fatal, here are some recommended tips on how to avoid and cure it.

Stop drinking cold drinks, cold water, ice cream , yogurt, chocolates etc. instead, drink warm water, ginger tea, or hot coffee.

Every 4-5 hours, drink warm milk with little turmeric, salt and butter in it. It will help to make your throat smooth which will help you to breathe properly. Gargle with warm water with little salt in it. Do it as many times as you can.

Make sure that you get plenty of fluids. They say that cold drains your body fluids. Rehydrate yourself by plenty intake of fluids. Try orange juice and hot tea with lemon and honey.

Get a plenty of rest. It will do well. If you feel your feelings get worst, seek for experts’ recommendation and follow it for easier recovery.

Acute pharyngitis or sore throat can result in very large tonsils which cause trouble swallowing and breathing. Some cases are accompanied by a cough or fever. Most acute cases are caused by viral infections with the remainder caused by bacterial infections, fungal infections, or irritants such as pollutants or chemical substances. It may also lead to serious disease if not treated well. Below are some ways to prevent and cure this :-

Take a glass of water and put it in the microwave and heat for 40 seconds (I would personally suggest boiling it instead). Add two teaspoons of salt to the warm/hot water and stir. As the water is still hot and tolerable to you, gargle the salted water. Gargle for five seconds and repeat till the water in the cup is gone. Repeat this process four times a day. This makes the pain of the sore throat subside moderately.

Avoid sweets. But preferably, try hard candies or cough drops. Eat fruits and drink plenty of water.

Just like common colds, it is advisable to get plenty of sleep. Take a rest until you can get through the pain.

Flu keeps you stocked in bed. Influenza or flu, can be transmitted though cough or/and sneezes. The most common symptoms of the disease are chills, fever, sore throat, muscle pains, severe headache, coughing, weakness and general discomfort. Fever and coughs are the most frequent symptoms. It may get serious if not aided immediately. Here are some tips to avoid the virus from spreading.

Since it can be transmitted, avoid sharing drinking and eating utensils with people who are sick. Wash your hands before eating to keep germs away.

Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, preferably those with Vitamin C to boost your immune system.

Plenty of water. Drink at least eight glasses of water a day. Herbal teas and diluted fruit juices are good options for increasing your water intake.

Get enough sleep, plenty of sleep. Stress and lack of rest are mere causes of flu because it weakens your immune system.

Take a multivitamin every day to make sure you are getting enough vitamins and minerals.

Regular exercise is proven to enhance your immune system and to avoid you from getting these diseases. Schedule yourself from mild exercise to hard. It will help you stay physically and mentally alert.

On that Fateful July 25th...

I have a real tough time to write this, even summing up the energy to recall the incident would make my heart thump like crazy and my palms and feet would break cold sweat. You’ve got to picture how nervous and restless I am now with my 2 legs folded up and tucked beneath my thighs, occasionally wiping both my sweaty palms on my hand towel as I proceeded to type the entire incident – taking a minute or two break at every interval to peek on other websites to calm my nerves down. It is certainly taking me longer to write than to speak-out on the actual thing – and I really want to get this through and never to have to remember it again so that I will not be haunted by the memory of the case.

This happened on a Saturday, on the 25th of July 2009. It was the same day which I had a long list of errands to perform and the same fateful day of my life that is marred by my greatest frustration ever. I had it all planned and organised well so that all of our errands can be completed that day. Having said that, it was also a day which I carried the most cash with me as I planned to settle off my car instalments, bills, terminate my Celcom 3G broadband and also purchase both skincare and some medications as well.

Usually, I will not bring any handbags whenever I were to go out and will only use wristlets. But it was also because I had a lot of items and things to carry, which explains why I opted to bring a bag to store all my stuffs in case I left out any behind. It was as if I had it all in my head, I told Nick that I was carrying lots of cash with me that day and asked him to be alert as well. I had asked him to bring me to the banks first so that I could drop off all my cash before we head to Gurney Plaza that morning, but he mentioned that it was out of the way to turn to the banks and suggested we could do it on our way home as the route will pass by the banks. So, I went according to his plans. We had our lunch and purchased both my mom’s and my own skincare items at Lóccitane Gurney before we left that place. On the way home, I told him that there are 2 options to purchase our much needed vitamins from either in Farlim, Air Itam (which is a little out of the way but cheaper) or in Island Glades which is on the way. And Nick was thinking to kill 2 birds with 1 stone, he suggested Farlim as there is a place where we can get some fresh veggies that are brought down from Penang Hill for sale in the afternoon at the indoor wet market in Farlim. I went along with the idea as I too thought I could get my another month’s supply of detox medication from a branch located right in front of the indoor wet market.

When we reached that place, Nick stopped me to walk-up and get my detox medication while he and James waited in the car. I came down quickly not long after getting my supply and hop back into the car. He drove over the border to the indoor wet market and parked right in front of the entrance. By that time, James was already in dreamland – so, Nick asked me to stay locked in the car and he will hop down to get the veggies, so I agreed. After Nick left the car for about 15 minutes, James woke-up asking where is his daddy. And me being silly to think and allow Nick to do the wet-marketing has started to feel the guilt of having a man to do a woman’s job. I asked James to join me and got out from the car and met Nick inside the building to complete the marketing.

We came out together, but Nick was having both his hands full with a week’s groceries, so I had to take care of James and opened the car door to safely put James into the car. At the same time, I was careful to have remained between the cars during that time when Nick was loading the groceries into the booth of the vehicle. God had me this time – I was quick to have noticed Nick was going after something that fell on the ground when he opened the booth, and me being always kiasu if he ever notices that there were cars or moving vehicles beside him when he chased after the balloon James had got from his walk at the Gurney Plaza. I walked out from my “safe zone” to be the eye for Nick without realizing I was actually being watched. Nick too was caught off-guard. He quickly tried to load the balloons back into the booth with his hands still holding onto the other groceries. So, I chipped in to help him to load the balloons into the back-seat when those snatch-thieves decided to strike at that point of time.

Initially, I felt a very light tugging feeling on my arm when I was half-way through with my chore, and I thought it was James that was pulling on my bag – so, I did not immediately reacted to pull back in case James were to trip from my force. But then again, I felt that the tugging was a little too strong for a 3 year old, and that’s when I noticed that it was those culprits that were pulling on my bag. I was really caught in a state of shock, and I could not say anything even to call for help other than to scream “hai!”. My immediate reaction was to pull back my bag knowing I could not afford to loose my bag, but my other hand was not free as I was holding on to something. They forced the pulling and the other culprit decided to turn on his fuel to hit for a run on the bike as at that time Nick had turned back.

I could not feel anything if I was hurt in that moment, but just to recover my snatched bag. And that bloody culprit has got the cheek to even give me a smile right after relieving my bag from my arm. I could not find any stone that was within my reach to take and hurl at that b*stard (mind my words please), even to take off my shoes was considered but I was wearing a buckle-up heel and can’t take off in time to have it hurled at them. Two Indian ladies that crossed the road told me that they saw these 2 culprits were watching us from a distance (but why didn’t they care to sound us even from the distance? – are Malaysians that caring by the way?), and another 2 guards for the indoor wet market just stood there and shouted back at those 2 culprits when they saw them sped off. They did not immediately start their bikes and tried to catch-up with them either. It was with my almost begging request, they did so.

Well, to end the story – Nick took the car to follow on the trail but we failed to locate them, neither did those 2 security guards. Went we walked into the nearby police station to lodge the report, those police officers can tell me that it was 2 malay youngsters riding on a black Honda EX5 that did that unspeakable act but they fail to catch them. My question here is – why aren’t our Malaysian police doing their job? They can setup “booby traps” to bag these idiots rather than sitting there in the police station saying that by the time they reach the scene, these people are gone for good. I lost more than RM6k in that incident, had the troublesome hassle of cancelling all my cards, accounts, reapplying for my IC and driving license – but most of all, had the worse trauma I could get. I had sleepless nights right after the incident, and I have to admit – my degree of faith in God has also shrunk after that toll.

On Understanding Shawn

In early July, we were having a little hiccup with Shawn and his progress both in school as well as at home. Shawn was turning to be a little violent during our absence at home with his younger brother, James and our maid, Ann whenever he is being denied from anything. His tempers would flare and he would hit both Ann and James – forgetting himself for that moment, and only to recover a while later asking for forgiveness for his emotional breakdowns from the two of them. And when we are at home, he would be so timid and could not even share his thoughts, emotions as well as feelings with us. He also behaves the same timid way when he’s at school too. This has alarmed us tremendously, especially when I caught him throwing mild tantrums at himself in his own room once which he then refused to share what has caused him to be so emotionally pent-up and built-up.

Shawn being a “special” child that is on a daily prescription of Ritalin to control his attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, and to have such disturbing emotional flare-ups – is something that would require our immediate attention to get it resolved soonest possible. We spent hours talking to him, understanding the deeper him on what had kept him so emotionally upset and worked up within him that could have possibly caused the emotional lash-out.

And the findings we’ve got was that he is coping hard in school – the particular government school that he was attending. He gets isolated from his teachers because of his disorder, being unable to sit still or concentrate in class. They practically never care to be bothered about him, or more so on lack of time to spend when they have over 30 children to teach in their 30 minutes to an hour of class. On his schoolmates, he gets bullied all the time. Can you imagine your son returning home from school every week with a new issue to tell you? Issues such as a shoe-print on the front or back of his white shirt (indicates that he is being kicked by another), swollen lip, swollen eye, once even with a bloody lip, school shoes marked with dirt, mud and even cow-dung caused by others stepping on his shoes (he will be busy apologizing and explaining to us the moment he step through the door with those shoes), his spectacles have been replaced umpteen times caused they were broken due to either he’s being punched in the face, eye or pushed to somewhere. Worse of all, he does not know how to express when he’s back home with us. He can only say, “my friend hit me mommy”, and when I asked “why would your friend want to hit you?”, he would then answer me “because I asked him to line-up when he cut queue”. I would always advise him in return “It’s ok Shawn, if they bullied you because of that, you have to report him to your teacher”, he would then either keep quiet or answer me “I reported him to the teacher, but the teacher never bothered also”. But, like any moms, we’ll tell him to forgive and forget about the incident.

There were many times too which we as his parents tends not to understand him entirely. He has an issue to concentrate in class, and mostly unable to copy down whatever homework, notes or assignment given by the teachers. Thus, unable to complete his daily homework. With that, comes the red-marks on all his activity and exercise books where the teachers take the “extra” trouble of complaining to us that our son is not performing or not concentrating enough in his/her classes so much so that they drew extra large question marks and wrote sarcastic notes that Shawn is literally not paying attention in their classes. Of course, as blind as a bat would be – we took care of our faces more than understanding our son. We had him lectured, punished, locked in a room to think and even to some extend of disciplinary actions for those “red-marks” in his books. We did not actually spent time having heart to heart talks with our Shawn.

Having understood our own mistakes, and upon understanding Shawn’s scenario entirely, I frantically search for an alternative option to proceed with Shawn’s future education. Nick even suggested me to be a SAHM to care and mend for Shawn if there are no other alternatives. But, God was gracious, I managed to still draw my memory to Joanna, a lady whom I’ve met during the United Marriage Encounter which I have attended back in 2007 who dedicated her time entirely to home-schooling her 2 boys in Sungai Petani, Kedah. Though, I had last spoken to Joanna more than a year ago on the home-schooling option for Penang folks, I was prepared to be disappointed again when I took my chances to ask her again this time round if she would have any knowledge if someone here in Penang that offers the same home-schooling program. I was not disappointed this time round, in fact, I was overjoyed when Joanna replied me “You know what Mabel, I have just the right news for you – three weeks back we went for a dedication ceremony for Cecelia, a lady who attended the same 2007 UME together with you has now started the program in Penang”. I was leaping with joy as I heard the news.

I wasted no time, and immediately contacted Cecelia, proceeded to obtain all the information and gathered all knowledge to go about with this option before I break the news to Nick and his family. I also took Shawn to see his regular specialist, consulted the specialist on my alternative solution for Shawn and had his medication changed. All the time I had been asking Shawn if he wants to change to a new school, his response was always the same despite how creative I post the questions to him – they were all “wait first mommy, I want to see how is the new school, teachers and friends first”. With that, I was determined to have him exposed to the new school environment, teachers and friends, and boy... you should see my immediate relief when I saw the real Shawn reappearing between his new found friends and new environment. That reassures me that my choice for him had been right, and I made no attempts to further delay his arrangements. I had him stopped from the government school with immediate effect, returned all his books and belongings of the school, and purchased him a new laptop for his new chapter with the centre. All of this happened within a week’s time.

Oh yes! I almost forgot to mention. Sandra Rocco shared her experiences with School of Tomorrow program with her daughter, Indiana in KK, Sabah – I was so awe with the school’s program and elements that were the key driving factors for the children that they teach. I was literally burning with desire if the same program can reach me here in Penang. Little did I know that both Joanna’s and Cecelia’s centres were operating under the same big umbrella! I only got to know about it when Cecelia gave me a hand-out to read more of the school’s program, and the information that was printed behind the hand-out reads www.schooloftomorrow.com ~building lives for the future~

The Whirlwind of Life!

Apologies for my long absence and silence. There has been a string of happenings in my life which I really do not know where and how to start also since there was a short re-lapse in my memory. But, I’ll try to capture those happenings as much as possible in almost chronological order for the understanding of all.

The Passing of a Dear One...

To many of us, grandparents have always been our source of love, refuge when we are disciplined or punished by our parents, but most common of all, the place where we are mostly "spoiled".

I've lost a set of grandparents from my paternal side at a very young age, and my grand-dad from my maternal side returned to God back in Sept year 2003 on my wedding anniversary date. That demise was a devastating piece of news to me as I do have a very special bond with him and given the special title of being his favourite grand-child - I really did miss him a great deal. Even through to this date, thinking about him would bring tears to my eyes because of that special bond we had. Now, I only left a grand-ma from my maternal side as my last surviving grandparent.

As for Nick's (my dear hubby), I had not met his paternal grandparents before because they had passed on before I got to know him. Leaving his set of maternal grandparents as the pair of grandparents that I bonded very well with before and after I got married to him as they are so close to my own set of maternal grandparents. But his maternal grand-dad left us back in Nov year 2002 when I was still in Guangzhou, it was a blow to me as I remembered I was crying and calling up the airlines to get the earliest flight home at the same time.

Late yesterday I got the news that Nick's last surviving grandparent had passed on. Nick's grand-ma has that special place in his heart, and I know how bad it must have wreak his heart getting the news. We were both still working when we got the news. But due to tight deadlines and criticality of our work commitments, we did not take off immediately. Nick still work till almost 7.00pm, while I stayed till almost 10.00pm at the office to clear up all my urgent lot before I disappear for the rest of the week.

Nick was holding on very well throughout yesterday, so have I. But, both of us broke-down early today crying profusely over the news and over the reality of Nick has lost the last and dearest grand-ma and that made me lost my grand-ma-in-law too.

To our dearest Ah-Mah, though you have returned to the Lord, but you will be dearly missed, remembered fondly and live on in our hearts... love always...

15/06/2009

The Dire for Slower-paced Life

Life has been very hectic for me over the last few weeks. And looking at the coming weeks, I do not think it will get any better anytime soon.

With the thought in mind that my maid has intention to head home for good by Q3 next year, and that my battalion of monsters will be left unattended until I can resolve what's the next solution, coupled with my ever-demanding work, I really do not know when I can actually catch a breather.

And thank God that I have temporarily decided to put my studies on hold till I can get a better grip of my hectic life and weakening health. Else I guess it will be too much for me to handle.

Shot Gun Marriage Do Not Last?

Saw the entry made by Bonnie last week called Shot Gun Marriage = Divorce, and thought it was an interesting topic to make an entry about, or more likely to express further on what Bonnie had expressed earlier.

While many elders will think that most shot-gun marriage will not last, I seriously believe that there is no factual proof to what they claim too. There are marriages that was built from some solid years of courtship, and had some years of blissful married years, but still tears apart despite the years spent in nurturing it.

In other words, there is no rocket science when it comes to predicting how long a marriage will last by just looking or judging the individuals from the cover. In fact, each have their own story to tell, and none will be similar. It also takes both partners to love and comprise, and to come to a stage of acceptance to each others' shortfalls, before moving forward to make the best of what they've got to make the marriage work.

Who says that marriage is a bed of roses? Marriage is NEVER a bed of roses. In fact, marriage is where the next level of commitment and responsibilities set in. Real honeymoon is when both partners have come to a stage where all flaws are being accepted, unwillingness are being straightened and new understanding of each other are being achieved. To reach this stage will not be easy - for some, it would be easier if both partners have the same or similar platform of understanding where both can embark on further developing their relationship further, for others, both parties needs to make adjustment to fit themselves into the marriage and to make the relationship last.

Changes are constant in a marriage whenever a new member is added into the family, whenever there's new changes that will test the marriage from the financial standpoint, whenever there's emotional changes that affects one or the other, and whenever there's external pressure that will apply indirect stress to the marriage.

Each phase a couple endures together when they face with these changes/challenges will elevate the relationship to a new level, and the passing of each phase will successfully enable both partners to understand each other better when the next challenge arrives.

I like to quote my favourite quote when I mention this, "everything happens for a reason, and each reason always has a GOOD reason laying behind it". Things or events may not appear favourable in our human eyes, but I always believe that it is a blessing in disguise to prepare us for the next challenge. The same principle applies to our own relationship with our life partners. We just need to remember that each challenge will only bless us with the experience that will strengthen the marriage, and it will always takes two to do the Tango.

New Excitement

I had been complaining non-stop about being unable to catch sometime to go for my Twilight Saga book hunting.

Well, yesterday I tried my luck with Popular bookstore and got my eye on the only Saga bundle which was priced at RM188.90 for all the 4 books. Pushing my luck a little, I tried to ask the store helper if there is a discount on the bundle since it is being placed together with the stash of books which were on 20% discount. What I got was not something which I had wanted to hear - "I'm sorry miss, the bundle has no discount unless you are a Popular member, then you are entitled to 10% discount. But the 20% discount applies to the other loose copies placed together at the counter".

I felt bummed, still not willing to fork out RM190 for 4 copies of books which I knew I would hardly read-through after once, I went back to the counter and flip through those loose copies in vain to get hold of the 4 books which I had wanted to get so badly. To my dismay, I managed to find Book 3 and 4 only which were priced at RM68.90 (before the 20% discount). And since I have not even started reading Book 1, how on earth can I jump to Book 3? I squashed the thought and returned the books back on the counter, and made my exit from the bookstore as quick as possible before I go ahead to make that purchase.

Back home, I went online to search for the Twilight eBook copies. And to my delight, I found all 4 copies downloadable from a good-Twilight-samaritan who so freely shared her PDF copies with all individuals out there. So, now I have the complete set which are in eBook format - thanks to "dchen". And I am thinking to get it printed out for my easy reading pleasure.

Now, I can't wait to get my hands on them and start my reading spree.

A Sweet Surprise

Birthdays have always been birthdays to me. Call me old-fashion when it comes to this, but I do strongly believe that birthdays do need to be celebrated - but not necessarily to spend lavishly.

When it came to my birthday recently, Nick had "pre-booked" me to have a weekend together - and we did. Basically, I had wanted some "two of us" time since we are always surrounded by our 3 musketeers in general most of the time.

So, last weekend we did spent sometime together - on Saturday, we caught some time with my parents (my dad returned from Singapore to spend a day with us), was surprised by an impromtu visit by an uncle (my dad's close friend) from KL who watched me grew-up and had a hearty lunch with them. We went to several aquarium shops hunting for some saltwater fishes for our newly setup tank, and even went for a test-drive on a new vehicle which we then subsequently decided to buy. And to top the day, my mom cooked a fabulous dinner for us too.

On Sunday, Nick brought me out for some really "two of us" time together. We had a quick and delicious lunch at Nando's, pick-up our movie tickets for the Star Trek show at Queensbay and happily giggling our way to the theatre holding our pop-corns and drinks just like kids - and had a great time absorbing the movie entirely. All in all, I really had a great time and did not think that there would be something extra since I had clearly mentioned to Nick that we can do away with the cake since I had added a couple of pounds from my recent ice-cream and cakes frenzy appetite.

But, little did I know that he had planned a little surprise for me at home. He had the cake collected, picked up my kids from my IL's and bought KFC for both my children and maid who simply enjoys those fried chicken meals. And just like I mentioned, he said "birthdays will always be birthdays, and it will be incomplete without a cake to celebrate the occasion".

Such a sweet surprise.

How Well Do You Know Your Husband

This is really an interesting tag which I've got from Sandra. Basically, it was good to remind me on the little things that most of us (wives) might tend to forget after some years rolled by into the marriage.


1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
- News, CSI, any good documentary on Discovery, Animal Planet or National Geographic channel concerning deep sea fishes, air-crash investigation, I Survived or anything that picque his interest.

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
- French dressing or thousand island sauce.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
- Any food that is too spicy for him to handle

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?
- Anything new to him, he's pretty adventurous when it comes to food.

5. Where did he go to high school?
- SRJK (C) Chung Hwa Confucion

6. What size shoes does he wear?
- Men size 8 i.e. 42 European size

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
- Dead corals and sea shells

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
- Anything that is a good-combo. He's pretty adventurous when it comes to food. Which include once turning his sandwich to a sushi complete with wasabi!

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
- Green apples and "bak chang".... they are his favourite

10. What is his favorite cereal?
- Combination of cornflakes with rice pops.

11. What would he never wear?
- Anything that makes him look odd or different obviously.

12. What is his favorite sports team?
- My man is a dull sportsman. The only sports he plays is backyard futsal.

13. Who did he vote for?
- Aside from the dutiful vote he needs to cast, there is no other vote he does.

14. Who is his best friend?
- Boring guy, hardly mixes around eventhough I have encouraged him. Home is his best friend.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
- Shopping and spending money!

16. What is his heritage?
- Pure chinese right up to the roots

17. What is his favorite colour?
- Yellow, yellow dirty fellow :p

18. What is his habit?
- A morning visit to the loo is a must :p

19. What is he proud of?
- His wife (...not boasting, he always tells me that) wahkahkahkah....

20. Lastly, do you think he will read this?
Definitely not! He's totally not into blog, and aside from other aquarium bloggers, he has no interest reading blogs.... hehehehehe...

The Love of a Mother

The love of a mother is the greatest love found beside the love of God to mankind. And God has been loving and thoughtful to have blessed each wonderful soul with a mother to nuture, love, care and protect us since the day we were born into this world. A mother’s love can be compared to God’s love for us. God’s love is not static neither it is self centered; it reaches out to draws others in. And a mother’s is none other than the same way as God's undivided love - it is unselfish, undivided and endures everything. The strength of a mother’s love is entirely independent of the past, the present and of the future, and above all - it is the purest of all emotions.

Since today is Mother’s Day and to all of our mothers, we would wish “Happy Mother’s Day”. And in conjunction to Mother's Day, I would like to post a beautiful lyric from Helen Steiner Rice here to wish all my beautiful, gorgeous and wonderful blogger mommy friends, friends and relatives out there an awesome Happy Mother's Day!

A Mother's Love

A Mother's love is somethingthat no on can explain,

It is made of deep devotionand of sacrifice and pain,

It is endless and unselfishand enduring come what may

For nothing can destroy itor take that love away . . .

It is patient and forgivingwhen all others are forsaking,

And it never fails or falterseven though the heart is breaking . . .

It believes beyond believingwhen the world around condemns,

And it glows with all the beautyof the rarest, brightest gems . . .

It is far beyond defining, it defies all explanation,

And it still remains a secretlike the mysteries of creation . . .

A many splendoured miracleman cannot understand

And another wondrous evidenceof God's tender guiding hand.
- by Helen Steiner Rice

And I would like to leave you a thought for the week too :-

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” — Washington Irving

Have a Blessed Mother's Day peeps!

A New Obsession

Handbags and bags, no doubt has been one of my "items" when it comes to shopping... BUT, never before had I ever even thought of spending more than RM200 for a bag.

Lately, I started developing an obsession over wristlets and bags......... and mind my crazy mind, I have been spending quite a lot within a week with my purchase of 2 wristlets, 1 large satchel and 1 large tote. And what is worse, they are all branded....

Speaking of maintenance which was a quiz I took in one of the facebook applications, the result was indicating that I am of 50% high maintainance and that I should start living a life! Oh my! I seriously think my answers were excluding the less than a week's expenses poured for my crazy and latest obsession. *feeling of guilt is slowly seeping through - with my tongue sticking out*

Good grace! I even asked the seller to search for a Fendi wallet for me which I saw priced at USD455 *which I seriously think I am loosing my mind*.

Guess before I am thinking of splurging my cash to that over-priced wallet, I better think of using that money to much better use - such as changing my ten years refridgerator.

Should get a better grip of myself.

Time... time... Precious Time

Time is always ticking and whatever that has happened in the past hour, can never be rewinded nor be brought back again. I have been living with this statement in my mind over the years since my late teenage days. And maybe it was also the reason why it made me different when compared to a lot of people at my age then.

I always appear stronger, tougher and more mature in my thoughts and decisions since my then days. This is because I know, if we do not live life to the fullest or to treasure even a single moment spent in it, we will live to regret over a simple or stupid decision we have made earlier.

So far, I am proud to say that I have never regretted over any of my decisions EXCEPT for not paying good attention in school during my secondary school days - mainly due to the fact that I was too playful then. This was also the turning point for me to buck-up and move on in life and telling myself never to repeat the same stupid action again.

Even like now, for the reason that I have decided to forgo my intention to continue with my Masters, I seriously do not feel a wee bit of regret, because I know whatever decision that I make now, I am sure to have given it due thought.

I am the type of character that is persistent and adamant at getting what I want to accomplish within the right timeframe given, if not for a shorter period - and done with perfection. Can say that I am a perfectionist when it comes to delivering whatever task that I choose to lay my hands on. And if I do not achieve my goal or the standards that I have set for myself, I would get pretty upset over it. But, I also have something which counters this rigid feeling of mine. Let's say I have decided to do something, and I did gave it my best shot - yet, I could not achieve it, when I release it or give-up later - I will have no regrets because I know I did my best. Likewise, if I choose to give-up without giving it a shot - I WILL regret it for life! And this is something which I have not been doing for a long period of time - for as long as I can remember.

So, right now - I am seriously going to put some precious time for my family, and not going to miss out on catching on my kids' growing up years after I have decided to let go the pursuance of a Masters degree. And I am 110% sure that God is going to make both my family and work life a great phase in life which I will never forget.

Have a great and productive week ahead peeps! And God bless ya!

Latest Cut

I believe I reviewed about my earlier hairdo experience with Hair Perfect, and results were horrifying despite after spending an exhorbitant RM408.00 just for a professional hair-cut, colouring and its combo-treatment which crumbled my entire crowning glory in just under 2 hours to be exact.

Just Saturday i.e. 18th April 2009, after my orthopeadic consultation, I had decided I needed a "spirit-lifter" and went for my much-needed hair cut after not having a hairdo ever since my incident which was in mid-January 2009. This time, I was comtemplating either to get my haircut done at Extreme or APT ~ which both also are well-known hair salons with their own academy for learning. And as Nick was having an intention to visit an aquarium mall, which is located diagonally opposite APT, I decided that I should give them a try.

Their professional cut was only RM43, and an additonal RM5 for the wash too ~ this is considered reasonable compared to where I used to patronize back in 2005 and 2006 i.e. Baptain where the professional cut alone is RM55 without a wash too.

I was immediately ushered in and given a selection on the choices which I wish to have for my hair, and the professional hair-stylist was instantanously summoned to attend to me. Pardon me, I forgot to get his name ~ silly me! He greeted me with a smile and asked me of my intention. Without further a-do, he felt my hair and suggested a style and thickness that will suit me best - and asked if I am fine with his suggestion, which I gladly agreed.

So, he went on to snip away my extra length, gave me a personalised hair-wash (which in many hair salons will be handled by the helpers a.k.a. shampoo assistants), blowed-dry my hair and continue to complete the haircut to reach the perfect style that he has recommended.

The best part about this salon is, they DO NOT sell or pursue you to use their products, and neither do they literally "force" you to do some kind of treatment, or colouring if you do not have any intention to do so. They strictly let the customers rule!

The only question the stylist asked me was, what option would I like to have for my choice of shampoo, and when I voiced "scalp-care", he mentioned he has, and that will be an additional charge of RM3 - which I am happy to know. So, the total bill was only RM51, and this was the end result... complete with my mineral make-up look...

The Contemplation

Hmmm..... what's running in my mind these days? I really feel like giving up on continuing with my Master's considering that my workload is widening and my health is deteriorating.

It was just yesterday morning I made the decision after my scan results were made known to me. I am now on long-term glucosamine/condrophil prescription due to hereditary arthritis, and an old spinal bone fracture that has been causing excruciating pain whenever I sit on hard surfaces for a period of time. The sad part is ~~ nothing can be done about with these two findings other than taking precaution and care. As for the old-fractured bone, if the pain has reached a point where it is unbearable, my only option is to get an operation done to remove that out-growned portion which has been causing my pain.

As for my hereditary arthritis, other than long-term on glucosamine, I will need to take a continuous span of 10-14 days of painkillers (without stopping mind you) to subdue the inflammatory as and when there is a potential flare-up. And this will be a long-term routine for me also.

And what will happen if I choose not to take the painkillers to stop the flare-ups? The answer is: more injuries will happen to my spinal bone which will result in more pain for me as the years piles on. And those "injuries" will continue to deteriorate the state of my spinal bone, and the worst result will be very visible in 10-15 years time from now - which by then, there will be no option other than to undergo an operation if I do not take the adequate measures now.

Saddening news isn't it? Anyway, whatever it is, I am sure God has His ultimate plan for me. He knows what I can endure, and what I can't endure. Studying for my master's will require me to sit a lot, and to spend long hours either at lecture halls, or at home on weekdays and also on weekends.

Honestly, if I choose to stop studying - no doubt I DO feel the "pain" of letting go, but I believe it will definitely be a better option for me in preparation of what is expected from my family by mid of next year. Studying allows me with very little or practically "zero" time left for my children, and what more with this bone issue of mine ~~ I can NEVER carry anymore heavy things, which will include my children *boo hoo hoo...*. But, anyhow I still believe ~ my family and children needs me more than anything else in this world. And no doubt as much as I love to add an extra paper for my qualification, I just do not have enough time capability to accommodate or satisfy that need of mine.

I still have yet to call up the university to inform them of my decision as I am still 50:50 over the entire issue ~ I am a practical stubborn Choleric Sanguine who likes to control everything without at times trusting to let go of the reins to God for control! (still remember my closest brother-in-Christ called me a stubborn mule!). But to proceed with it will need me to bear an extra brain and pair of hands ~ that is for definite! So, what should the decision be peeps?

The Impossible Thought

Sometimes I just wished I had more than a pair of hands and an extra brain. Time is so inadequate for me these days, and I can hardly accomplish what I need to do within the deadline with my current physical ability.

Sounds shocking I know to you, but I have been struggling pretty hard to cope with both my workload and my study load in between my family commitments. Most of my friends really salute me for what I have "dipped" my head into.

Sure is tiring, but I believe God has His plan for me with what was laid in front of me. I am sure that He will not test me beyond my limits. If I could breakthrough this stage, I strongly believe I will achieve yet another milestone in my life.

So, till then..... I might not be able to blog that often - no doubt I actually have lots of stories to share but allow me to "figure" myself out to that right momentum before I could afford to squeeze another activity into my already overflowing daily schedule.