Havana Heavens...

Marriage... who needs it?

2010-01-24T12:40:00.004+08:00

Frankly, why do we need to be married anyway if being married will not bring you more happiness but more heartaches?

Speaking from a women's point, why would a woman decides to tie the knot with a man whom she feels that she would want to spend the rest of her life with? Technically, is it just love and companionship alone? Or building a future with that person? Or is that someone is a person that you cannot live without?

I agree that marriage is never a bed of roses nor will it be on cloud nine as most young in love would think. Marriage is all about commitment, bonding and strengthening the relationship despite whatsoever difficulties that having a family would be. There will not be a bed of roses if both parties do not play their part in making the marriage run smoothly and successfully. And this will take a lifetime to make things work as hurdles and challenges get tougher by the year and by the decade with the constantly increase in one's age and probably with the shortening of one's patience and temper.

Despite being married for more than a decade, I still find marriage an uphill challenge for me to keep up with. As patience draws shorter, and tempers flares more often, disagreements and arguements is hiking up the ladder. And depression sets in.

Very often, trivial issues will ignite the spark and generate into a massive fire that will end up hurt both parties badly. Why can't the understanding level be deeper now despite being together for more than a decade? Why can't the level of tolerance be greater when things could be done and resolved in a better manner? Why would hurtful words be hurled to the a loved one that once was protected far away from hurt? Why can't after a decade, both do not see better through each other's eyes but distancing from one another by the day? Why would one take the other for granted and never gave a second thought if what actions or words would cut the feelings of the other? Why would spending time with a loved one seems more like a dutiful chore rather than something that's needed from the heart? Why would the asking for a little time from a loved one be like a challenge to do when one is in the midst of doing a chore that can wait? ~ I still can't find answers to the questions that thronged my head constantly. Worse of all, why would one wants to stay in a marriage if she can't get any happiness and satisfaction out of it? Why should she still be tied in marriage when she has been busy caring for everyone and none bothered about her in return ~ more like an "ah sum" to everyone, but queen to none.

I think I might go bonkers soon...

Dragging my 2 feet!

2010-01-23T16:44:00.002+08:00

How many of you will feel as if both your legs weighs a thousand pounds each side when Sunday nights rolls to an end and Monday mornings strikes the time for you to pull out of bed and get yourself ready for work?

That is exactly how I had been feeling for the past few months since I lost my great mentor and another great colleague at my workplace. I had not been getting the "recharged" energy of going back into my old speed, focus and mind ever since both of them stepped out of the plant to venture into other personal interests.

I believe many of you who have added me in your Facebook contact list would find my rants on work stress and crazy work-schedule a little too hectic or more like too much to bear as for the past months that rolled along. Well, this post of mine will provide you with a better window or answer on why I had gathered this negative-charge for work as well as Depression that happened in the last couple of months back.

To cut long story short, we all understand and know that sh*t happens in every organisation that we work in. It's a matter whether can you accept it and work along with it or you do not jive with it, you just move out from it. Same theory applies here in my post. The earlier times we had was tremendously hectic with long working hours, short or frequent no lunch or dinner breaks and usually we don't get to see the sun that often (guess you should understand what I meant here ~ we'll be at work at 7am and will only walk out of the plant after the sun has retired). No doubt our lifestyles were more fit for zombies, but we were a damn happy team and we enjoyed everyones company within the team.

Just like a fairytale movie, when everything is nice and smooth, there comes Cruella. And also just like Dalmation 101, our Cruella is also a lady (minus the crazy toned hair and ugly features) but a heart that matches the evil-rate of Cruella's if not for more. And she has her side-kick also that replicates her character that has been giving my immediate superior the hardest time in managing her. So, what more can I express from here... conflict and clash of personalities happens, my boss decides to call it quits and serves her notice to end her service with the organisation.

That's when all hell broke loose... everyone in the team (except for Cruella's sidekick) was so distraught by her sudden decision, but being with her and experienced the same thing she has been experiencing, we all understood that this is the best option for her since she had 2 encounters of having her blood pressure shot up to 150 due to disagreements at work. And my senior team-mate who has more than 20 years of seasoned experienced decided to leave the pack in view that the leadership is not a good one to continue the battle for. So, what's left behind? The top level people were so worried that I'll be the next to go, sent a representative from Singapore to come in to fill the gap for the temp moment while they hunt for the 2 replacement, and they came in to do damage control with me ~ persuading me not to "go look" and be with them, and they will take good care of me *rolling my eyes in disbelief, but not trusting a word that was said to me*.

Technically, whatever that needs to be done has been highlighted, and whatever that needs urgent attention has been neglected by rightful authorities without a single glance or thought. Well, that's why when my superior decided to call it quits, she totally had no qualms left behind as she has done all she can in her ability to do and salvage what she can.

So now... what that is left of me is being half-heartedly in my job, and I no longer possess the urge, the courage, the strength nor the spirit to go on working for people that I feel do not deserve my respect nor my hardwork in slogging the extra 10 miles like what I used to do before.

If any of you would have alternative advise or suggestions, I would really welcome them.

Voice after the Long Silence

2010-01-19T16:01:00.003+08:00

I had to agree that my blog had been "dead" for the last five months to be exact. And I am really terribly sorry for the MIA period as there has been multiple happenings in my life that literally left me speechless or more like wordless, and I could not express my thoughts, feelings and mind.

Well in short, I have been spending my last 1 year in my current employment, which in fact happened to be one of the most life-changing phase in my career life of 15 years. I could not agree more that I have learnt the most important thing in life during my last one year of working life ~ LIFE!

Technically, I lost my life ever since starting my journey in my current employment. I totally had no time for myself, my family or even a holiday out of Penang! Can you imagine that? Even if I were to travel, they are all genuinely business trips that are back to back without any slots for personal use.

In truth, I have to admit that I am really very tired of this lifestyle and I am really longing for more spare time for quality things in life such as my family and my children. Try imagining the pain I felt when I heard my baby started calling my maid as "mama" *wuaahhhh* ~ That's it! That made me made the point of decision in my life ~ if I do not do something with myself and my not-for-human schedule, either my family is going to disown me or I am going to get lost myself.

So, while I am crossing my fingers and praying that the next decision that I am planning in my life to happen smoothly and gain success gradually with hardwork, please do keep me and my dreams in your prayers too. *hugs & kisses*

"Locked" at Home

2009-08-19T13:57:00.004+08:00

As alarming as my topic of this entry may sound, my children and myself have been "locked" at home since Monday. In direct words, we self-quarantined ourselves.

Why is there a need to do so? Many of you will be asking me in return. Reason is Shawn has gone for swimming last Friday and he started having fever, flu, sore throat and coughs on Sunday. We tried to give him plenty of fluids, rest and some Panadols, but his fever never subsided. In fact, it turned furious on Monday morning in the wee hours and shot up to 39 degrees celcius. We sponged him and had ice-cubes wrapped with towels placed on his head to prevent the heat from going higher.

Early Monday morning, I quickly brought Shawn with James and Lucas in tow all to the clinic for immediate medical assistance. James and Lucas both have flu and cough individually but minus the fever. Doctor informed me to stay indoors, avoid public areas and to refrain myself from others with a minimum distance of 3 feet away – for the fear of any potential AH1N1 virus that I might carry.

Though Shawn is not a confirmed AH1N1 case, and his fever subsided in the afternoon till the wee hours on Wednesday morning (that’s right – early this morning). I had developed mild fever since early Tuesday morning till present, as my mild fever did not go away. I made another trip to the doctor’s early this morning fully dressed ready to work right after I obtain clearance from them that I can go in to office to work. I think you should know the answer why I have time to blog about this when I am at work – yup! No clearance was granted as my mild fever has to be monitored by the doctor.

So, I thought of sharing some information I found via the world wide web with all, since most of us still can’t draw the line between a common cold and the much feared AH1N1 influenza and some health tips to keep ourselves at bay from the viruses :-

Common cold, is a contagious, viral infectious disease of the upper respiratory system, primarily caused by rhinoviruses (a picornaviruses) or coronaviruses. It is the most common infectious disease in humans; there is no known cure, but it is never fatal. Though it is never fatal, here are some recommended tips on how to avoid and cure it.

Stop drinking cold drinks, cold water, ice cream , yogurt, chocolates etc. instead, drink warm water, ginger tea, or hot coffee.

Every 4-5 hours, drink warm milk with little turmeric, salt and butter in it. It will help to make your throat smooth which will help you to breathe properly. Gargle with warm water with little salt in it. Do it as many times as you can.

Make sure that you get plenty of fluids. They say that cold drains your body fluids. Rehydrate yourself by plenty intake of fluids. Try orange juice and hot tea with lemon and honey.

Get a plenty of rest. It will do well. If you feel your feelings get worst, seek for experts’ recommendation and follow it for easier recovery.

Acute pharyngitis or sore throat can result in very large tonsils which cause trouble swallowing and breathing. Some cases are accompanied by a cough or fever. Most acute cases are caused by viral infections with the remainder caused by bacterial infections, fungal infections, or irritants such as pollutants or chemical substances. It may also lead to serious disease if not treated well. Below are some ways to prevent and cure this :-

Take a glass of water and put it in the microwave and heat for 40 seconds (I would personally suggest boiling it instead). Add two teaspoons of salt to the warm/hot water and stir. As the water is still hot and tolerable to you, gargle the salted water. Gargle for five seconds and repeat till the water in the cup is gone. Repeat this process four times a day. This makes the pain of the sore throat subside moderately.

Avoid sweets. But preferably, try hard candies or cough drops. Eat fruits and drink plenty of water.

Just like common colds, it is advisable to get plenty of sleep. Take a rest until you can get through the pain.

Flu keeps you stocked in bed. Influenza or flu, can be transmitted though cough or/and sneezes. The most common symptoms of the disease are chills, fever, sore throat, muscle pains, severe headache, coughing, weakness and general discomfort. Fever and coughs are the most frequent symptoms. It may get serious if not aided immediately. Here are some tips to avoid the virus from spreading.

Since it can be transmitted, avoid sharing drinking and eating utensils with people who are sick. Wash your hands before eating to keep germs away.

Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, preferably those with Vitamin C to boost your immune system.

Plenty of water. Drink at least eight glasses of water a day. Herbal teas and diluted fruit juices are good options for increasing your water intake.

Get enough sleep, plenty of sleep. Stress and lack of rest are mere causes of flu because it weakens your immune system.

Take a multivitamin every day to make sure you are getting enough vitamins and minerals.

Regular exercise is proven to enhance your immune system and to avoid you from getting these diseases. Schedule yourself from mild exercise to hard. It will help you stay physically and mentally alert.

On that Fateful July 25th...

2009-08-18T14:52:00.000+08:00

I have a real tough time to write this, even summing up the energy to recall the incident would make my heart thump like crazy and my palms and feet would break cold sweat. You’ve got to picture how nervous and restless I am now with my 2 legs folded up and tucked beneath my thighs, occasionally wiping both my sweaty palms on my hand towel as I proceeded to type the entire incident – taking a minute or two break at every interval to peek on other websites to calm my nerves down. It is certainly taking me longer to write than to speak-out on the actual thing – and I really want to get this through and never to have to remember it again so that I will not be haunted by the memory of the case.

This happened on a Saturday, on the 25th of July 2009. It was the same day which I had a long list of errands to perform and the same fateful day of my life that is marred by my greatest frustration ever. I had it all planned and organised well so that all of our errands can be completed that day. Having said that, it was also a day which I carried the most cash with me as I planned to settle off my car instalments, bills, terminate my Celcom 3G broadband and also purchase both skincare and some medications as well.

Usually, I will not bring any handbags whenever I were to go out and will only use wristlets. But it was also because I had a lot of items and things to carry, which explains why I opted to bring a bag to store all my stuffs in case I left out any behind. It was as if I had it all in my head, I told Nick that I was carrying lots of cash with me that day and asked him to be alert as well. I had asked him to bring me to the banks first so that I could drop off all my cash before we head to Gurney Plaza that morning, but he mentioned that it was out of the way to turn to the banks and suggested we could do it on our way home as the route will pass by the banks. So, I went according to his plans. We had our lunch and purchased both my mom’s and my own skincare items at Lóccitane Gurney before we left that place. On the way home, I told him that there are 2 options to purchase our much needed vitamins from either in Farlim, Air Itam (which is a little out of the way but cheaper) or in Island Glades which is on the way. And Nick was thinking to kill 2 birds with 1 stone, he suggested Farlim as there is a place where we can get some fresh veggies that are brought down from Penang Hill for sale in the afternoon at the indoor wet market in Farlim. I went along with the idea as I too thought I could get my another month’s supply of detox medication from a branch located right in front of the indoor wet market.

When we reached that place, Nick stopped me to walk-up and get my detox medication while he and James waited in the car. I came down quickly not long after getting my supply and hop back into the car. He drove over the border to the indoor wet market and parked right in front of the entrance. By that time, James was already in dreamland – so, Nick asked me to stay locked in the car and he will hop down to get the veggies, so I agreed. After Nick left the car for about 15 minutes, James woke-up asking where is his daddy. And me being silly to think and allow Nick to do the wet-marketing has started to feel the guilt of having a man to do a woman’s job. I asked James to join me and got out from the car and met Nick inside the building to complete the marketing.

We came out together, but Nick was having both his hands full with a week’s groceries, so I had to take care of James and opened the car door to safely put James into the car. At the same time, I was careful to have remained between the cars during that time when Nick was loading the groceries into the booth of the vehicle. God had me this time – I was quick to have noticed Nick was going after something that fell on the ground when he opened the booth, and me being always kiasu if he ever notices that there were cars or moving vehicles beside him when he chased after the balloon James had got from his walk at the Gurney Plaza. I walked out from my “safe zone” to be the eye for Nick without realizing I was actually being watched. Nick too was caught off-guard. He quickly tried to load the balloons back into the booth with his hands still holding onto the other groceries. So, I chipped in to help him to load the balloons into the back-seat when those snatch-thieves decided to strike at that point of time.

Initially, I felt a very light tugging feeling on my arm when I was half-way through with my chore, and I thought it was James that was pulling on my bag – so, I did not immediately reacted to pull back in case James were to trip from my force. But then again, I felt that the tugging was a little too strong for a 3 year old, and that’s when I noticed that it was those culprits that were pulling on my bag. I was really caught in a state of shock, and I could not say anything even to call for help other than to scream “hai!”. My immediate reaction was to pull back my bag knowing I could not afford to loose my bag, but my other hand was not free as I was holding on to something. They forced the pulling and the other culprit decided to turn on his fuel to hit for a run on the bike as at that time Nick had turned back.

I could not feel anything if I was hurt in that moment, but just to recover my snatched bag. And that bloody culprit has got the cheek to even give me a smile right after relieving my bag from my arm. I could not find any stone that was within my reach to take and hurl at that b*stard (mind my words please), even to take off my shoes was considered but I was wearing a buckle-up heel and can’t take off in time to have it hurled at them. Two Indian ladies that crossed the road told me that they saw these 2 culprits were watching us from a distance (but why didn’t they care to sound us even from the distance? – are Malaysians that caring by the way?), and another 2 guards for the indoor wet market just stood there and shouted back at those 2 culprits when they saw them sped off. They did not immediately start their bikes and tried to catch-up with them either. It was with my almost begging request, they did so.

Well, to end the story – Nick took the car to follow on the trail but we failed to locate them, neither did those 2 security guards. Went we walked into the nearby police station to lodge the report, those police officers can tell me that it was 2 malay youngsters riding on a black Honda EX5 that did that unspeakable act but they fail to catch them. My question here is – why aren’t our Malaysian police doing their job? They can setup “booby traps” to bag these idiots rather than sitting there in the police station saying that by the time they reach the scene, these people are gone for good. I lost more than RM6k in that incident, had the troublesome hassle of cancelling all my cards, accounts, reapplying for my IC and driving license – but most of all, had the worse trauma I could get. I had sleepless nights right after the incident, and I have to admit – my degree of faith in God has also shrunk after that toll.

On Understanding Shawn

2009-08-18T12:39:00.002+08:00

In early July, we were having a little hiccup with Shawn and his progress both in school as well as at home. Shawn was turning to be a little violent during our absence at home with his younger brother, James and our maid, Ann whenever he is being denied from anything. His tempers would flare and he would hit both Ann and James – forgetting himself for that moment, and only to recover a while later asking for forgiveness for his emotional breakdowns from the two of them. And when we are at home, he would be so timid and could not even share his thoughts, emotions as well as feelings with us. He also behaves the same timid way when he’s at school too. This has alarmed us tremendously, especially when I caught him throwing mild tantrums at himself in his own room once which he then refused to share what has caused him to be so emotionally pent-up and built-up.

Shawn being a “special” child that is on a daily prescription of Ritalin to control his attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, and to have such disturbing emotional flare-ups – is something that would require our immediate attention to get it resolved soonest possible. We spent hours talking to him, understanding the deeper him on what had kept him so emotionally upset and worked up within him that could have possibly caused the emotional lash-out.

And the findings we’ve got was that he is coping hard in school – the particular government school that he was attending. He gets isolated from his teachers because of his disorder, being unable to sit still or concentrate in class. They practically never care to be bothered about him, or more so on lack of time to spend when they have over 30 children to teach in their 30 minutes to an hour of class. On his schoolmates, he gets bullied all the time. Can you imagine your son returning home from school every week with a new issue to tell you? Issues such as a shoe-print on the front or back of his white shirt (indicates that he is being kicked by another), swollen lip, swollen eye, once even with a bloody lip, school shoes marked with dirt, mud and even cow-dung caused by others stepping on his shoes (he will be busy apologizing and explaining to us the moment he step through the door with those shoes), his spectacles have been replaced umpteen times caused they were broken due to either he’s being punched in the face, eye or pushed to somewhere. Worse of all, he does not know how to express when he’s back home with us. He can only say, “my friend hit me mommy”, and when I asked “why would your friend want to hit you?”, he would then answer me “because I asked him to line-up when he cut queue”. I would always advise him in return “It’s ok Shawn, if they bullied you because of that, you have to report him to your teacher”, he would then either keep quiet or answer me “I reported him to the teacher, but the teacher never bothered also”. But, like any moms, we’ll tell him to forgive and forget about the incident.

There were many times too which we as his parents tends not to understand him entirely. He has an issue to concentrate in class, and mostly unable to copy down whatever homework, notes or assignment given by the teachers. Thus, unable to complete his daily homework. With that, comes the red-marks on all his activity and exercise books where the teachers take the “extra” trouble of complaining to us that our son is not performing or not concentrating enough in his/her classes so much so that they drew extra large question marks and wrote sarcastic notes that Shawn is literally not paying attention in their classes. Of course, as blind as a bat would be – we took care of our faces more than understanding our son. We had him lectured, punished, locked in a room to think and even to some extend of disciplinary actions for those “red-marks” in his books. We did not actually spent time having heart to heart talks with our Shawn.

Having understood our own mistakes, and upon understanding Shawn’s scenario entirely, I frantically search for an alternative option to proceed with Shawn’s future education. Nick even suggested me to be a SAHM to care and mend for Shawn if there are no other alternatives. But, God was gracious, I managed to still draw my memory to Joanna, a lady whom I’ve met during the United Marriage Encounter which I have attended back in 2007 who dedicated her time entirely to home-schooling her 2 boys in Sungai Petani, Kedah. Though, I had last spoken to Joanna more than a year ago on the home-schooling option for Penang folks, I was prepared to be disappointed again when I took my chances to ask her again this time round if she would have any knowledge if someone here in Penang that offers the same home-schooling program. I was not disappointed this time round, in fact, I was overjoyed when Joanna replied me “You know what Mabel, I have just the right news for you – three weeks back we went for a dedication ceremony for Cecelia, a lady who attended the same 2007 UME together with you has now started the program in Penang”. I was leaping with joy as I heard the news.

I wasted no time, and immediately contacted Cecelia, proceeded to obtain all the information and gathered all knowledge to go about with this option before I break the news to Nick and his family. I also took Shawn to see his regular specialist, consulted the specialist on my alternative solution for Shawn and had his medication changed. All the time I had been asking Shawn if he wants to change to a new school, his response was always the same despite how creative I post the questions to him – they were all “wait first mommy, I want to see how is the new school, teachers and friends first”. With that, I was determined to have him exposed to the new school environment, teachers and friends, and boy... you should see my immediate relief when I saw the real Shawn reappearing between his new found friends and new environment. That reassures me that my choice for him had been right, and I made no attempts to further delay his arrangements. I had him stopped from the government school with immediate effect, returned all his books and belongings of the school, and purchased him a new laptop for his new chapter with the centre. All of this happened within a week’s time.

Oh yes! I almost forgot to mention. Sandra Rocco shared her experiences with School of Tomorrow program with her daughter, Indiana in KK, Sabah – I was so awe with the school’s program and elements that were the key driving factors for the children that they teach. I was literally burning with desire if the same program can reach me here in Penang. Little did I know that both Joanna’s and Cecelia’s centres were operating under the same big umbrella! I only got to know about it when Cecelia gave me a hand-out to read more of the school’s program, and the information that was printed behind the hand-out reads www.schooloftomorrow.com ~building lives for the future~

The Whirlwind of Life!

2009-08-18T11:45:00.001+08:00

Apologies for my long absence and silence. There has been a string of happenings in my life which I really do not know where and how to start also since there was a short re-lapse in my memory. But, I’ll try to capture those happenings as much as possible in almost chronological order for the understanding of all.

The Passing of a Dear One...

2009-07-01T12:08:00.006+08:00

To many of us, grandparents have always been our source of love, refuge when we are disciplined or punished by our parents, but most common of all, the place where we are mostly "spoiled".

I've lost a set of grandparents from my paternal side at a very young age, and my grand-dad from my maternal side returned to God back in Sept year 2003 on my wedding anniversary date. That demise was a devastating piece of news to me as I do have a very special bond with him and given the special title of being his favourite grand-child - I really did miss him a great deal. Even through to this date, thinking about him would bring tears to my eyes because of that special bond we had. Now, I only left a grand-ma from my maternal side as my last surviving grandparent.

As for Nick's (my dear hubby), I had not met his paternal grandparents before because they had passed on before I got to know him. Leaving his set of maternal grandparents as the pair of grandparents that I bonded very well with before and after I got married to him as they are so close to my own set of maternal grandparents. But his maternal grand-dad left us back in Nov year 2002 when I was still in Guangzhou, it was a blow to me as I remembered I was crying and calling up the airlines to get the earliest flight home at the same time.

Late yesterday I got the news that Nick's last surviving grandparent had passed on. Nick's grand-ma has that special place in his heart, and I know how bad it must have wreak his heart getting the news. We were both still working when we got the news. But due to tight deadlines and criticality of our work commitments, we did not take off immediately. Nick still work till almost 7.00pm, while I stayed till almost 10.00pm at the office to clear up all my urgent lot before I disappear for the rest of the week.

Nick was holding on very well throughout yesterday, so have I. But, both of us broke-down early today crying profusely over the news and over the reality of Nick has lost the last and dearest grand-ma and that made me lost my grand-ma-in-law too.

To our dearest Ah-Mah, though you have returned to the Lord, but you will be dearly missed, remembered fondly and live on in our hearts... love always...

15/06/2009

2009-06-15T09:53:00.001+08:00

The Dire for Slower-paced Life

2009-06-06T14:08:00.003+08:00

Life has been very hectic for me over the last few weeks. And looking at the coming weeks, I do not think it will get any better anytime soon.

With the thought in mind that my maid has intention to head home for good by Q3 next year, and that my battalion of monsters will be left unattended until I can resolve what's the next solution, coupled with my ever-demanding work, I really do not know when I can actually catch a breather.

And thank God that I have temporarily decided to put my studies on hold till I can get a better grip of my hectic life and weakening health. Else I guess it will be too much for me to handle.

Shot Gun Marriage Do Not Last?

2009-05-24T20:04:00.003+08:00

Saw the entry made by Bonnie last week called Shot Gun Marriage = Divorce, and thought it was an interesting topic to make an entry about, or more likely to express further on what Bonnie had expressed earlier.

While many elders will think that most shot-gun marriage will not last, I seriously believe that there is no factual proof to what they claim too. There are marriages that was built from some solid years of courtship, and had some years of blissful married years, but still tears apart despite the years spent in nurturing it.

In other words, there is no rocket science when it comes to predicting how long a marriage will last by just looking or judging the individuals from the cover. In fact, each have their own story to tell, and none will be similar. It also takes both partners to love and comprise, and to come to a stage of acceptance to each others' shortfalls, before moving forward to make the best of what they've got to make the marriage work.

Who says that marriage is a bed of roses? Marriage is NEVER a bed of roses. In fact, marriage is where the next level of commitment and responsibilities set in. Real honeymoon is when both partners have come to a stage where all flaws are being accepted, unwillingness are being straightened and new understanding of each other are being achieved. To reach this stage will not be easy - for some, it would be easier if both partners have the same or similar platform of understanding where both can embark on further developing their relationship further, for others, both parties needs to make adjustment to fit themselves into the marriage and to make the relationship last.

Changes are constant in a marriage whenever a new member is added into the family, whenever there's new changes that will test the marriage from the financial standpoint, whenever there's emotional changes that affects one or the other, and whenever there's external pressure that will apply indirect stress to the marriage.

Each phase a couple endures together when they face with these changes/challenges will elevate the relationship to a new level, and the passing of each phase will successfully enable both partners to understand each other better when the next challenge arrives.

I like to quote my favourite quote when I mention this, "everything happens for a reason, and each reason always has a GOOD reason laying behind it". Things or events may not appear favourable in our human eyes, but I always believe that it is a blessing in disguise to prepare us for the next challenge. The same principle applies to our own relationship with our life partners. We just need to remember that each challenge will only bless us with the experience that will strengthen the marriage, and it will always takes two to do the Tango.

New Excitement

2009-05-24T19:40:00.003+08:00

I had been complaining non-stop about being unable to catch sometime to go for my Twilight Saga book hunting.

Well, yesterday I tried my luck with Popular bookstore and got my eye on the only Saga bundle which was priced at RM188.90 for all the 4 books. Pushing my luck a little, I tried to ask the store helper if there is a discount on the bundle since it is being placed together with the stash of books which were on 20% discount. What I got was not something which I had wanted to hear - "I'm sorry miss, the bundle has no discount unless you are a Popular member, then you are entitled to 10% discount. But the 20% discount applies to the other loose copies placed together at the counter".

I felt bummed, still not willing to fork out RM190 for 4 copies of books which I knew I would hardly read-through after once, I went back to the counter and flip through those loose copies in vain to get hold of the 4 books which I had wanted to get so badly. To my dismay, I managed to find Book 3 and 4 only which were priced at RM68.90 (before the 20% discount). And since I have not even started reading Book 1, how on earth can I jump to Book 3? I squashed the thought and returned the books back on the counter, and made my exit from the bookstore as quick as possible before I go ahead to make that purchase.

Back home, I went online to search for the Twilight eBook copies. And to my delight, I found all 4 copies downloadable from a good-Twilight-samaritan who so freely shared her PDF copies with all individuals out there. So, now I have the complete set which are in eBook format - thanks to "dchen". And I am thinking to get it printed out for my easy reading pleasure.

Now, I can't wait to get my hands on them and start my reading spree.

A Sweet Surprise

2009-05-24T19:20:00.002+08:00

Birthdays have always been birthdays to me. Call me old-fashion when it comes to this, but I do strongly believe that birthdays do need to be celebrated - but not necessarily to spend lavishly.

When it came to my birthday recently, Nick had "pre-booked" me to have a weekend together - and we did. Basically, I had wanted some "two of us" time since we are always surrounded by our 3 musketeers in general most of the time.

So, last weekend we did spent sometime together - on Saturday, we caught some time with my parents (my dad returned from Singapore to spend a day with us), was surprised by an impromtu visit by an uncle (my dad's close friend) from KL who watched me grew-up and had a hearty lunch with them. We went to several aquarium shops hunting for some saltwater fishes for our newly setup tank, and even went for a test-drive on a new vehicle which we then subsequently decided to buy. And to top the day, my mom cooked a fabulous dinner for us too.

On Sunday, Nick brought me out for some really "two of us" time together. We had a quick and delicious lunch at Nando's, pick-up our movie tickets for the Star Trek show at Queensbay and happily giggling our way to the theatre holding our pop-corns and drinks just like kids - and had a great time absorbing the movie entirely. All in all, I really had a great time and did not think that there would be something extra since I had clearly mentioned to Nick that we can do away with the cake since I had added a couple of pounds from my recent ice-cream and cakes frenzy appetite.

But, little did I know that he had planned a little surprise for me at home. He had the cake collected, picked up my kids from my IL's and bought KFC for both my children and maid who simply enjoys those fried chicken meals. And just like I mentioned, he said "birthdays will always be birthdays, and it will be incomplete without a cake to celebrate the occasion".

Such a sweet surprise.

How Well Do You Know Your Husband

2009-05-19T11:35:00.006+08:00

This is really an interesting tag which I've got from Sandra. Basically, it was good to remind me on the little things that most of us (wives) might tend to forget after some years rolled by into the marriage.

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
- News, CSI, any good documentary on Discovery, Animal Planet or National Geographic channel concerning deep sea fishes, air-crash investigation, I Survived or anything that picque his interest.

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
- French dressing or thousand island sauce.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
- Any food that is too spicy for him to handle

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?
- Anything new to him, he's pretty adventurous when it comes to food.

5. Where did he go to high school?
- SRJK (C) Chung Hwa Confucion

6. What size shoes does he wear?
- Men size 8 i.e. 42 European size

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
- Dead corals and sea shells

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
- Anything that is a good-combo. He's pretty adventurous when it comes to food. Which include once turning his sandwich to a sushi complete with wasabi!

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
- Green apples and "bak chang".... they are his favourite

10. What is his favorite cereal?
- Combination of cornflakes with rice pops.

11. What would he never wear?
- Anything that makes him look odd or different obviously.

12. What is his favorite sports team?
- My man is a dull sportsman. The only sports he plays is backyard futsal.

13. Who did he vote for?
- Aside from the dutiful vote he needs to cast, there is no other vote he does.

14. Who is his best friend?
- Boring guy, hardly mixes around eventhough I have encouraged him. Home is his best friend.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
- Shopping and spending money!

16. What is his heritage?
- Pure chinese right up to the roots

17. What is his favorite colour?
- Yellow, yellow dirty fellow :p

18. What is his habit?
- A morning visit to the loo is a must :p

19. What is he proud of?
- His wife (...not boasting, he always tells me that) wahkahkahkah....

20. Lastly, do you think he will read this?
Definitely not! He's totally not into blog, and aside from other aquarium bloggers, he has no interest reading blogs.... hehehehehe...

The Love of a Mother

2009-05-10T09:27:00.003+08:00

The love of a mother is the greatest love found beside the love of God to mankind. And God has been loving and thoughtful to have blessed each wonderful soul with a mother to nuture, love, care and protect us since the day we were born into this world. A mother’s love can be compared to God’s love for us. God’s love is not static neither it is self centered; it reaches out to draws others in. And a mother’s is none other than the same way as God's undivided love - it is unselfish, undivided and endures everything. The strength of a mother’s love is entirely independent of the past, the present and of the future, and above all - it is the purest of all emotions.

Since today is Mother’s Day and to all of our mothers, we would wish “Happy Mother’s Day”. And in conjunction to Mother's Day, I would like to post a beautiful lyric from Helen Steiner Rice here to wish all my beautiful, gorgeous and wonderful blogger mommy friends, friends and relatives out there an awesome Happy Mother's Day!

A Mother's Love

A Mother's love is somethingthat no on can explain,

It is made of deep devotionand of sacrifice and pain,

It is endless and unselfishand enduring come what may

For nothing can destroy itor take that love away . . .

It is patient and forgivingwhen all others are forsaking,

And it never fails or falterseven though the heart is breaking . . .

It believes beyond believingwhen the world around condemns,

And it glows with all the beautyof the rarest, brightest gems . . .

It is far beyond defining, it defies all explanation,

And it still remains a secretlike the mysteries of creation . . .

A many splendoured miracleman cannot understand

And another wondrous evidenceof God's tender guiding hand.
- by Helen Steiner Rice

And I would like to leave you a thought for the week too :-

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” — Washington Irving

Have a Blessed Mother's Day peeps!

A New Obsession

2009-05-02T17:54:00.003+08:00

Handbags and bags, no doubt has been one of my "items" when it comes to shopping... BUT, never before had I ever even thought of spending more than RM200 for a bag.

Lately, I started developing an obsession over wristlets and bags......... and mind my crazy mind, I have been spending quite a lot within a week with my purchase of 2 wristlets, 1 large satchel and 1 large tote. And what is worse, they are all branded....

Speaking of maintenance which was a quiz I took in one of the facebook applications, the result was indicating that I am of 50% high maintainance and that I should start living a life! Oh my! I seriously think my answers were excluding the less than a week's expenses poured for my crazy and latest obsession. *feeling of guilt is slowly seeping through - with my tongue sticking out*

Good grace! I even asked the seller to search for a Fendi wallet for me which I saw priced at USD455 *which I seriously think I am loosing my mind*.

Guess before I am thinking of splurging my cash to that over-priced wallet, I better think of using that money to much better use - such as changing my ten years refridgerator.

Should get a better grip of myself.

Time... time... Precious Time

2009-04-27T21:24:00.002+08:00

Time is always ticking and whatever that has happened in the past hour, can never be rewinded nor be brought back again. I have been living with this statement in my mind over the years since my late teenage days. And maybe it was also the reason why it made me different when compared to a lot of people at my age then.

I always appear stronger, tougher and more mature in my thoughts and decisions since my then days. This is because I know, if we do not live life to the fullest or to treasure even a single moment spent in it, we will live to regret over a simple or stupid decision we have made earlier.

So far, I am proud to say that I have never regretted over any of my decisions EXCEPT for not paying good attention in school during my secondary school days - mainly due to the fact that I was too playful then. This was also the turning point for me to buck-up and move on in life and telling myself never to repeat the same stupid action again.

Even like now, for the reason that I have decided to forgo my intention to continue with my Masters, I seriously do not feel a wee bit of regret, because I know whatever decision that I make now, I am sure to have given it due thought.

I am the type of character that is persistent and adamant at getting what I want to accomplish within the right timeframe given, if not for a shorter period - and done with perfection. Can say that I am a perfectionist when it comes to delivering whatever task that I choose to lay my hands on. And if I do not achieve my goal or the standards that I have set for myself, I would get pretty upset over it. But, I also have something which counters this rigid feeling of mine. Let's say I have decided to do something, and I did gave it my best shot - yet, I could not achieve it, when I release it or give-up later - I will have no regrets because I know I did my best. Likewise, if I choose to give-up without giving it a shot - I WILL regret it for life! And this is something which I have not been doing for a long period of time - for as long as I can remember.

So, right now - I am seriously going to put some precious time for my family, and not going to miss out on catching on my kids' growing up years after I have decided to let go the pursuance of a Masters degree. And I am 110% sure that God is going to make both my family and work life a great phase in life which I will never forget.

Have a great and productive week ahead peeps! And God bless ya!

Latest Cut

2009-04-19T18:33:00.003+08:00

I believe I reviewed about my earlier hairdo experience with Hair Perfect, and results were horrifying despite after spending an exhorbitant RM408.00 just for a professional hair-cut, colouring and its combo-treatment which crumbled my entire crowning glory in just under 2 hours to be exact.

Just Saturday i.e. 18th April 2009, after my orthopeadic consultation, I had decided I needed a "spirit-lifter" and went for my much-needed hair cut after not having a hairdo ever since my incident which was in mid-January 2009. This time, I was comtemplating either to get my haircut done at Extreme or APT ~ which both also are well-known hair salons with their own academy for learning. And as Nick was having an intention to visit an aquarium mall, which is located diagonally opposite APT, I decided that I should give them a try.

Their professional cut was only RM43, and an additonal RM5 for the wash too ~ this is considered reasonable compared to where I used to patronize back in 2005 and 2006 i.e. Baptain where the professional cut alone is RM55 without a wash too.

I was immediately ushered in and given a selection on the choices which I wish to have for my hair, and the professional hair-stylist was instantanously summoned to attend to me. Pardon me, I forgot to get his name ~ silly me! He greeted me with a smile and asked me of my intention. Without further a-do, he felt my hair and suggested a style and thickness that will suit me best - and asked if I am fine with his suggestion, which I gladly agreed.

So, he went on to snip away my extra length, gave me a personalised hair-wash (which in many hair salons will be handled by the helpers a.k.a. shampoo assistants), blowed-dry my hair and continue to complete the haircut to reach the perfect style that he has recommended.

The best part about this salon is, they DO NOT sell or pursue you to use their products, and neither do they literally "force" you to do some kind of treatment, or colouring if you do not have any intention to do so. They strictly let the customers rule!

The only question the stylist asked me was, what option would I like to have for my choice of shampoo, and when I voiced "scalp-care", he mentioned he has, and that will be an additional charge of RM3 - which I am happy to know. So, the total bill was only RM51, and this was the end result... complete with my mineral make-up look...

The Contemplation

2009-04-19T17:42:00.002+08:00

Hmmm..... what's running in my mind these days? I really feel like giving up on continuing with my Master's considering that my workload is widening and my health is deteriorating.

It was just yesterday morning I made the decision after my scan results were made known to me. I am now on long-term glucosamine/condrophil prescription due to hereditary arthritis, and an old spinal bone fracture that has been causing excruciating pain whenever I sit on hard surfaces for a period of time. The sad part is ~~ nothing can be done about with these two findings other than taking precaution and care. As for the old-fractured bone, if the pain has reached a point where it is unbearable, my only option is to get an operation done to remove that out-growned portion which has been causing my pain.

As for my hereditary arthritis, other than long-term on glucosamine, I will need to take a continuous span of 10-14 days of painkillers (without stopping mind you) to subdue the inflammatory as and when there is a potential flare-up. And this will be a long-term routine for me also.

And what will happen if I choose not to take the painkillers to stop the flare-ups? The answer is: more injuries will happen to my spinal bone which will result in more pain for me as the years piles on. And those "injuries" will continue to deteriorate the state of my spinal bone, and the worst result will be very visible in 10-15 years time from now - which by then, there will be no option other than to undergo an operation if I do not take the adequate measures now.

Saddening news isn't it? Anyway, whatever it is, I am sure God has His ultimate plan for me. He knows what I can endure, and what I can't endure. Studying for my master's will require me to sit a lot, and to spend long hours either at lecture halls, or at home on weekdays and also on weekends.

Honestly, if I choose to stop studying - no doubt I DO feel the "pain" of letting go, but I believe it will definitely be a better option for me in preparation of what is expected from my family by mid of next year. Studying allows me with very little or practically "zero" time left for my children, and what more with this bone issue of mine ~~ I can NEVER carry anymore heavy things, which will include my children *boo hoo hoo...*. But, anyhow I still believe ~ my family and children needs me more than anything else in this world. And no doubt as much as I love to add an extra paper for my qualification, I just do not have enough time capability to accommodate or satisfy that need of mine.

I still have yet to call up the university to inform them of my decision as I am still 50:50 over the entire issue ~ I am a practical stubborn Choleric Sanguine who likes to control everything without at times trusting to let go of the reins to God for control! (still remember my closest brother-in-Christ called me a stubborn mule!). But to proceed with it will need me to bear an extra brain and pair of hands ~ that is for definite! So, what should the decision be peeps?

The Impossible Thought

2009-04-10T18:46:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I just wished I had more than a pair of hands and an extra brain. Time is so inadequate for me these days, and I can hardly accomplish what I need to do within the deadline with my current physical ability.

Sounds shocking I know to you, but I have been struggling pretty hard to cope with both my workload and my study load in between my family commitments. Most of my friends really salute me for what I have "dipped" my head into.

Sure is tiring, but I believe God has His plan for me with what was laid in front of me. I am sure that He will not test me beyond my limits. If I could breakthrough this stage, I strongly believe I will achieve yet another milestone in my life.

So, till then..... I might not be able to blog that often - no doubt I actually have lots of stories to share but allow me to "figure" myself out to that right momentum before I could afford to squeeze another activity into my already overflowing daily schedule.

It's Earth Hour Today!

2009-03-28T17:02:00.002+08:00

Yes! I have to agree that I have been pretty silent about the entire issue on Earth Hour 2009. My silence does not mean rejection towards the drive, it was more like observing how other Malaysians take accountability over their individual responsibility in making the earth a better place for our children and their future.

Though the drive might just require everyone's participation in switching off the power and lights for just one hour - but people... I believe we can do more than that don't we?

Many of us tend to blame others whenever a mishap happens somewhere around the globe. We do not see that WE DO play our part in "destroying" our beautiful mother earth. As the knowledge world gets wider, as people gets more technical with developments, and as individuals swarms for higher education - we have forgotten the simplest of all rules which allows us to be able to still enjoy the beautiful parts of mother nature - preservation of the basics! I tend to get the perception that as technology grows, the intellectual part of humanity dropped - technically I mean. What happened to their rational mind of preserving the best of mother nature for our future? All forgotten? Or is it unimportant?

Earth Hour is not only a drive to encourage people to turn off their power for just that one hour, BUT it is a move to initiate what is expected from each individual who participates in the event thereafter. Though our part might be little in our own perception - do not forget, Rome was not build in one day my friend. If each of us, takes accountability over our own actions and decisions, we can certainly make a different to the environment and to the people around us. Just as the saying goes "Good practice starts from HOME".

So, friends and people out there... let us join hearts and hands in taking on this drive to the next level. Think thrice before we make a decision - IF it helps to save mother nature for our next generation. The simplest and basics can start with our own daily routine and practices - save power, electricity, and use environmental friendly products. For WE can MAKE the DIFFERENCE!

New Growth

2009-03-22T00:48:00.003+08:00

I did not blog about loosing hair after a hair appointment at a very well known hair saloon earlier. The case happened when I had wanted only a simple haircut done in one of Charlize Theron earlier styles. The hair stylist which I have pointed out to do my haircut is of a professional level which I have read people raved about his skills. His name is Eddie from Hair Perfect.

I have to admit that Eddie indeed is a skillful hairstylist given the fact that he could finish a haircut within 15-20mins in accordance to your hairstyle requirements. But, he can get pretty upset if he suggest you to do more than what you have intended for, and when you do not agree with his suggestions. This is based from my own experience.

I walked in on a Sunday morning at 11am for a simple haircut just a week before the CNY festive season. And Eddie was suggesting me to do a colour on top of my haircut, as he insisted that with my jet-black hair, and the style that I had opted for - the lengths and shape will not stand out without some hair colour *sulking*. I told him politely that I do not want to colour my hair and that my hair only needs a haircut and nothing else. And just I've said that, he said this to me in cantonese "If you want me to cut your hair, then you have to let me do as I have suggested". Boy! What a statement which did not catch me at that time as my mood was pretty patient! I did not walk out, but instead succumbed to his threat *hitting my head hard*. I am a real dumbo!

He charged me for a haircut, a hair-colour job, and a combo hair treatment - all for RM408.00!!! And me and my then stupidity and patience - paid for that bloody blood-sucking price.

Well, having said that, not only the price paid is not worth while - it was indeed the worse of all move that I had decided for him to colour my hair with what he promised to be one of the best brand of hair colour and hair care products - Keratase. My hair started to take effects after the chinese new year. It started dropping. And it is not a small volume, the volume is high which ends up a handful of fallen hair each time during each hair wash. And it was alarming!

Thank God I was blessed with a headful full of hair. At every occassion since my childhood days, hairstylist has been complaining that my hair is too thick, too much and not easy to colour as it is jet-black in colour, which indicates a healthy crown. I started loosing a large volume of hair, and up to a point where I myself felt that my head is very light and my hair is a lot thinner than what I used to feel. I went berserk... ballistic, and frantically called a friend who is an outlet manager for the L'occitane boutique at Gurney Plaza asking for advise and help. He was with a hair care products supply company before, and he had been trained well on hair textures, characters and hair care before - so, I had my emergency hair guru which I practically ran to for help instantaneously.

He explained that each strand of hair is protected by a layer which seals the strands natural colour and protects it from UV lights and other harmful atmosphere. And at each hair colouring process, hair saloon will use the white lotion a.k.a. developing lotion to "open" up this layer of protection, which thereafter will not be "closed" - just to inject the colour that we want into the body of the hair. Being an Asian, it is natural that our hair's content has the natural tones of red, and it will certainly be a lot easier for saloons to inject both brown and red tones to our Asian hair compared to other ethnic groups.

What made my hair drop is that the colour-sealing process which most hair saloon proudly advertise is "hair treatment" that they claim to seal your hair colour and to clean out the remaining chemical. All those that they say are all lies!

The agent that is being used on your hair is really a chemical agent to seals up the hair colour BUT it will harm your hair. What agent is it? It is silicone. What will the silicone do to your hair? It covers your hair with a layer of silicone, so that you will feel that your hair is smooth and silky and soft to the touch after the treatment. But the silicone also acts as a layer of plastic that bars your hair from breathing and repairing. And what's worse? It weighs down on your already weak hair after the hair colour process and thus, causing the hair follicles to give way and the hair will start dropping.

When I was briefed of all this information, I made a very clear decision for myself. Hair colouring is totally a non-value-add to my hair health, and I will not divulge myself into another phase of stupidity to colour my hair again. And he guided me on what products to use to help me with my hair growth, what to strengthen my hair, and even shared a little secret on how he make some homemade hair serum for scalp and hair care with me.

Now, thanks to Zowie, I crowning glory is starting to grow lots of new hair again.

Darling Lucas

2009-03-19T18:09:00.002+08:00

Normally it is a custom for us to take some studio pictures of our children when they are small just for keepsake purposes, and to remind us of their baby/toddler look. We have not been taking a lot of pictures of little Lucas as our Canon Ixus camera has been giving us numerous problems with the its functionality due to infrequent usage. In fact, this is the second time a Canon Ixus camera has let us down badly. Looking at the price we have paid for both units, and the outcome of its stability and reliability - Canon Ixus is seriously a bad choice of a digital camera for us.

As for James, in fact I took a lot of his baby pictures as well as video clips when he was younger. But I do not have any to share or show as it was all been stored in my personal laptop before the entire hard disk crashed earlier last year. Now, we are left with a handful of James's baby pictures which includes a few professional studio shots that was taken when he was about a year old plus.

Now, I am not taking the risk of using a semi-functioning digital camera that could potentially fail me again nor having them saved in my laptop hard disk without a back-up disk. I basically brought little Lucas to an old but famous photo studio to snap a couple of professional shots just to capture his 6 months old look. And here it is...

Lucas looks very much like Nick a.k.a. his daddy when he was young. Most of our relatives, family members and friends has been commenting that little Lucas is the exact cookie mold of his dear daddy. And I really have to agree to this statement, especially when I dug out Nick's childhood photographs and see the exact resemblance of how Lucas looks now - there is no doubts that our dear little Lucas is the exact replica of his daddy's looks.

Detours...

2009-03-18T14:28:00.004+08:00

Something which I have been doing for the past week whenever a tele-conference that I attends gets boring or the topic of discussion is non-related to my area - digital scrapbooking!!! *LOL*

Geez... I think I am getting pretty engrossed with digital scrapbooking lately and I have been downloading and purchasing quite a number of tools too to help with my digital passion *grinning sheepishly at my silly expenditure*

Here is the another piece I did when I was going through the teleconference yesterday afternoon. Looks simple, but the picture captured both Shawn and myself as of last month on a morning before Shawn left for school, and I left for work.

Shawn basically look very much like me in his facial features, skin tone, teeth and nails strength as we both were blessed with the benefit of having loads of calcium injected when we were both in the expecting stages. I can still recall gulping down multiple glasses of fresh milk with fresh eggs when I was expecting Shawn daily. And for myself on the other hand, my mom went for weekly calcium jabs for the first 3 months when she was expecting me. That explains why we are so calcium rich *smiles*

Down & Out

2009-03-17T14:32:00.002+08:00

I was down and out over the past few days - since Friday till now. Reason? I was actually having a prolonged sorethroat that appears to be "now you see it, now you don't" over the last couple of weeks, and all hell broke loose when I ate glorious Thai food on Thursday afternoon when dining with some of the visitors from Bringham Young University (BYU) .

As a matter of fact, I am still having a slight sorethroat with very mild fever right now even after I have completed a 4-days course of antibiotics that started since Saturday morning. Thank heavens that I had yesterday as my replacement holiday from the last Prophet Mohamed's birthday, where I get to rest an extra day before resuming work today.

You'll be thinking how on earth I can blog while working *lol* - I am at present attending a teleconference call and finding the topic of discussion is deviating to areas which is of not my interest. So, in short - stealing bones la... a.k.a. curi tulang *LOL*

The Brothers...

2009-03-11T16:28:00.002+08:00

Today is pretty relaxed for me as I am working on the island today for an activity on job placement organised by a MNC company. So, I am able to find a little breathing time in the afternoon for me to do some digital scrapwork for my 2 older boys.

The picture was taken about a month back when we dined at A&W at Gurney Plaza - looks peaceful here. The age gap between Shawn and James is about 5 years plus, and sad to say, they do not really bond very well. Constantly, they will be fighting or arguing over every single thing *faint*.

Usually when we arrange for an outing, it will be very hard to bring all of them along without having to settle every single one of their squabble - right from the ride out till we return. That is why, it is very exhausting to have a complete family day. And most of the time, if we were to bring both the brothers out, we can't be bringing the baby along because of the split attention required in "toddler/child-sitting" these 2 brothers.

Till age and maturity sets in for both boys, I guess both Nick and myself will be having this "challenge" till then.

He's officially OUT!

2009-03-10T21:26:00.003+08:00

Yes! James has successfully transitioned into his baby brother's room 2 nights ago. Yea... you might be thinking what trick did we used this time to lure him out from our room. We tried talking to him that he is a young man now and that he should be just like his elder brother, where he should be sleeping in a proper bed rather than a baby cot.

And to reward him if he successfully move over to a room, he will get a little study assistant which will be a learning computer - and voila! It just happened that very night!

So... it's mission perfecto for us!

How to Peel Him Off?

2009-03-07T17:24:00.004+08:00

James... our second boy is now entering his fourth year, and is still sleeping with Nick and myself in our room. We are now facing tough time in peeling him off and getting him to either bunk-in with his elder brother, Shawn or start sharing the same room as his baby brother.

Bottomline, none of the above seems to interest him at all! He just would not budge! He is adamant at sleeping with us and he said nothing is going to change that *faint*.

Shawn on the other hand... you can call me cruel... I had been letting him sleep on his own, in his own room since he was a baby. Yup... and that was like since he was 1 month old. I might sound cruel, but that has made my Shawn a very independent boy. He had since been sleeping on his own till now.

You might be asking how did James developed this clingy habit and why we allowed it to happen. Well, James WAS supposed to be our 2nd and last addition into our family, and he was super-clingy to his dad even when he was only 5-days old. You might be thinking that I am exaggerating, but I am telling you the truth. James did not want anyone else to carry him aside from his daddy when he was so ill with his little body completely covered with serious eczema. And poor Nick had to carry him for the whole night! Yes! hear me... the whole night right up to 5am! He did not allowed Nick to lie down either, and only wanted to be held by the daddy. Spoiled little brat right? And the father?.... yup... he allowed his little boy to be spoiled too.

Since a baby, Nick has been taking care of James every night - especially for his night feeds. That was how James ended up in our room. And I believe you might be thinking what happens to little Lucas now. Lucas is a wonderful gift blessed by the Lord in His utmost right timing. He is not clingy to anyone, and anyone who takes care of him is fine for him as he always smiles sweetly to everyone that cares for him. And he sleeps with our maid every night now (due to space constraints la...). In fact, our maid is sharing the baby's room as we only have 3 rooms in our apartment.

So, back to the topic now.... how to peel James from being so clingy with us? Both Nick and myself are still cracking our heads on how to lure him out from our room. We believe as he grows, we should not be showing any favouritism in giving him the benefit of feeling closer to us compared to his two other brothers. They are all equal in our hearts, and James should not be getting any extra. Moreover, as he grows, it is not proper for a child to be sharing room with his parents as well as I do not want the little boy to "witness" anything extra which he is not ready to know now *lol* - hey, that is speaking from several experiences which some friends had shared with me.

We tried on several occasions to let James sleep with Shawn - sharing the same room and same queen sized bed. James freaked out, wanting the elder brother to hug and brush his hair non-stop with his hand for the entire night! And poor Shawn has konked-out middle of the night due to tiredness from doing so. We figured that Shawn will suffer lack of sleep if being put together with James, and end up... James is back into our room again.

Now... while we try on other possible methods to lure him out from the room... Anyone out there that might have better suggestions, please do share with us ;)

A Breath of Relief

2009-03-07T17:11:00.002+08:00

Finally, I have managed to "kill-off" another one of my many assignments just a while ago. It is indeed a big relief for me especially over the last two weeks I had been worrying if I could complete this assignment before the end of this week.

You can imagine the stress I went through this morning. I got up quite early to start working on my quarter-done assignment this morning. Had both my breakfast and lunch while I work through my assignment on my laptop, and only getting up to ease myself at the restroom every now and then when nature calls *lol*. I even encountered several system hang-ups during the course and it just freaks me out and causes me more tension *imagine at a point I was so frustrated that I banged my desk!* And now, boy! Am I really glad that I managed to complete the 95 paged assignment by 4.45pm just now.

As for tonight.... hahahahaaa.... I am going to relax and rest my tired brain, eyes and fingers! Till tomorrow before I embark on my next assignment, I am going to free myself off my studies and spend some quality time with my family.

Will also spend some time to update on my family developments later.

Silence for the past 2 weeks

2009-03-05T21:54:00.003+08:00

I have been missing out on blogging almost for the last two weeks. Reason? I have been extremely busy with my work and had been pretty ill myself as well.

Work is overwhelming BUT is certainly exciting. Why would I say its overwhelming? Looking at my capabilities, strength and level of endurance - what I am facing now is really chicken feet. Overwhelming is because of the amount of stress I put on myself on completing my work tasks within my working hours and keeping my after-work hours solely for my studies.

I had wanted to complete my 2nd assignment before the mid of March, but health has been keeping me away from getting my goal accomplished. Being ill for the past 1 week plus has definitely kept me abstained from taxing my health further. Not to mention that I had to refrain from eating the normal choice of food that I prefer. All in all, it is indeed a great hassle for me to balance both my health and my commitment perfectly, like I had always wanted to take charge/control of. By the way, I am a true-blue Choleric Sanguine for those who do not really know me.

Since early last week, my mind had wanted to push on, but my body and health way screaming its way out. That's when all hell broke loose and I was down with fever on last Wednesday. Imagine, I still sent my colleague a sms at 6.30am telling him I'll be a little late as I will be dropping by to the clinic first. Guess the doctor knew it better than me, he issued me with a MC and prescribed me medication and that kept me glued to the bed for the rest of the day!

I am still not back to my good health as of now, still battling with a stubborn-and-would-not-want-to-go-away sorethroat and my on-again-off-again sinus problem. And it is because of these 2 issues... and the medications, I can't keep my eyes open to work on my way-behind-time assignments. And to make matters worse, me and my silly and constantly worried mind, is working up all the unnecessary stress for myself.

Aside from my silly attitude, maybe its also because of mind exhaustion, I get really tired right after work. I can't face my books even if I still have that 20% strength remaining in me. My mind is void of ideas and words, what more with analysing power for my assignments. So, Facebook and some blog reading have been my window for de-stressing during these two weeks.

Well folks, till I can find time to gather myself again. Pardon me for my missing-in-action updates and blog-commenting till then.

Best MOM Award

2009-02-27T17:45:00.006+08:00

Running the award that was awarded to me by Bonnie (sorry Bonnie for uploading it so late... please excuse me for my partially impaired typing ability due to my sore finger >.<)

Agree with what Bonnie has said in her blog. Every mom will always work within all means and all wits to provide the best and only the best for her children. That's why we have "Mother's Day" to remind all of the unending and undying love a mother has for her child/children.

Rules:

1. Show the award logo in your post.

2. Pick a picture you have with your kiddo(s)

I'll pick a picture which I've snapped with Shawn just a couple of days back before I left for work, and before Shawn left for school... *psst... it's kind of pretty hard for me to gather all my 3 boys for a snap off-hand - but that doesn't mean they are loved less or not remembered*

3. Post should include your best experience as a Mom.

The best experience I had as a mom came was when Shawn made me the first hand-made "I Love You Mom" mother's day card when he first attended nursery back in year 2004. Though it was hand-made, to me it was - priceless! Imagine the card was cut, coloured, written and drawn from the little hands of my little boy is something money cannot buy. Since then, Shawn has been making me more hand-made cards and other little-little gifts such as stationery holders that gets more creative and artistic every time.

Also, not to miss out. Since at the age of 3 years old, Shawn has been bringing me flowers he picks whenever he goes to the playground to play. And lovingly leave them on my dressing table and dropping me a note saying "Mommy, you are as pretty as these flowers" *awwhh... don't that melt a mom's heart?*

4. Nominate other blogger moms out there that you consider the best mom, like yourself.

I'll like to nominate Hooi Ling and Guat Khim for the best mom award too. You ladies I know, goes beyond your limits to provide the best for your little ones.

Our 2009 Valentine's Dinner

2009-02-21T22:16:00.004+08:00

I did not blog about the valentine's dinner I had with Nick on last Sunday earlier as I can't seem to find anytime to do it then. Frankly, after being with Nick for over a decade, we actually never had any out-of-home valentine's dinner - minus out our dating days okay... Reason for it is mainly because we both understand that love is where the heart is. So, flowers, chocolates, lavish dinners are not a necessity for us. Knowing darn well that most business will take this opportunity to raise their prices to cut-throat tags and love does not need all these to sustain or to fuel it further.

All our past valentine's celebration had been done cosily at home. And most of the time, I will be the one who prepare our own full-course candlelight dinner. But, our dinners will definitely include our kids and our maid - so, its not really a two-person kind of celebration. But hey, our kids and our maid are part of our family and our loved ones too. Speaking of our maid, she has been with us since Shawn was born, that means 9 years with us. That's why it is more like a family and loved ones proper sit-down dinner than a 2-person lovey-dovey valentine's dinner.

So back to my story..., earlier in January when the church I am frequenting organised an event for married couples called "A Moment Together", I pounced on it. Not that I had been longing for a quiet moment together with Nick, it is because the venue for the event is at the place where we both met - Hotel Waterfall. The place is not some kind of posh hotel or restaurant, it is more like a cosy little restaurant located in a motel, as the hotel is an old hotel from the 70's or 80's days. Having a dinner for 2 at a place where we got to know each other would be a great memory. And all the more when we have never revisited that place ever since we met, it would definitely be a memorable one.

At the dinner, since it was a church event, we were not alone as we do have plenty of other couple friends around too. Every couple is seated at a table for 2 persons, and the table is decorated with a candle pot sitting in a wine glass, rose petals strewn on the table, a cut-out butterfly marking out table number, and a box of ferrero rocher in a heart-shaped container. And we got a very nice table located at the corner of the room - pretty cosy.

The restaurant had been blocked-out by our church event, and the room is filled with hot air balloons, soft music and is dimly lit for that cosy and romantic atmosphere. Every couple dressed up for the event in their best suits and evening gowns. We have gentlemen donning their tuxedos and coats, and ladies wearing their best evenings gowns. *Ahem... forgive Nick and myself for not dressing up, as I had been busy the entire day in rushing my assignment till I completely forgot about the dress-code for the event - silly me*. I still remember Nick asked me on what attire should he put on for the dinner, and my reply was "Ah... any outfit is possible, just put on a collared t-shirt will do, or anything that you feel comfortable in". Thank God that Nick did not put on his usual 3/4 pants that he feels most comfy in :p

As I've mentioned, the event was a church event - so, it was filled with games, best-dressed man & lady of the night, sharing session and dance ;). Couples were asked to answer quizes and questions about their partners *without discussion* and to find out on how well they know each other. The dinner had been a great event for both the church as well as for Nick and myself. We had a great time reminiscing our earlier days together.

Here is Nick deep in thought with the questionaire... *apologise for the picture quality as it was taken from my mobile, and the room is dimly lit*

And here is a picture of myself captured by Nick on his mobile camera... *I know, I know... I look washed-down... I'm blaming it on my assignment - lol*

Lucas's 6 months to-be Milestones

2009-02-21T21:51:00.006+08:00

I guess I've missed out Lucas's development when I had to totally isolate myself from my family for the past week. Lucas's rough motor-skills have definitely improved by tons, as he can gradually control his hands and fingers over his toys and other items that interests him. Here's a video that I captured today when we were at Gurney Plaza this afternoon. And oh yes! He concentrates intensely also :p

Aside from his rough motor-skills, Lucas is now seeking for more attention. He doesn't like to be left alone - so, he will be making noise and calling out for attention whenever he is being left to play alone on his playmat. And Shawn had been really sweet at devoting his care and attention for his little brother, and at the same time helping out our maid in baby-sitting his baby brother whenever he's done with his homework and at play.

As for physical developments, Lucas can now almost on all 4 - ahem... all 4 means his 2 hands and 2 knees *lol*. He can "reverse" when he's laying on his stomach, and he "reverses" whenever he props himself on all 4 and hit backwards. I do not have a chance to capture his video when he's doing this - will post it IF I happened to "caught" it later.

And here is how Lucas looks like now...

Hectic Week

2009-02-21T21:19:00.002+08:00

I've had the most hectic week of my life for the last few years. I have left the study world for quite some years back, and now as posted in my earlier post - I have embarked on taking my Masters starting early this year.

Everything has been 90% new for me this year - a new job, new chapter in life and a new mother again (well... kind of ler since Lucas is a week away from 6 months). All in all, life in the past week has been overwhelming for me.

It all started with a total of 7 assignments to complete. And out of the 7, 3 are those which requires summarising of 10 journals each i.e. 30 journals *pengsan*. To be frank, I did not start on any of them since I was tasked with them :p - so, the result..... I had to rush like a mad-cow this past week to settle 1 of them which is due tomorrow. Since last Saturday I had to work because we conducted the first session of open interview on a weekend to avoid clashing with normal work hours, so Sunday was the day that I obediently sat in front of my laptop to start working on my first assignment. And guess what? I only got to finish summarizing 3 journals in the whole day! So, what happened to the remaining 7? Right... I told my boss on Monday that for the whole of the past week, I will be leaving on the dot to rush home and work on my assignments >.<

And I did! Since Monday evening, I have been diligently sitting in from of my laptop, working on my assignment, having my dinner right through my assignment, and really "dumped" and "ignored" my 4 boys (3 kids and 1 old kid) *LOL* till yesterday evening. Thank God that I managed to complete my assignment by Friday morning, got it tape binded and have the courier pick it up from my office to be sent to the Uni by this Saturday morning. So now... I can catch a breath of air before I start diving into my next assignment again tomorrow.

Pardon me for my absence in blogging, and also to visit some of my blogger friends' sites during this time. But, I'll take my chances to update the blog whenever possible.

Adios!

Expressions of LOVE

2009-02-13T22:45:00.007+08:00

This is an interesting topic that I heard on air this morning through Mix FM - it goes with this question "Why do men always have to be the only person who has to spend lavishly on each Valentine's Day?" - why? hmmm... What is your opinion? And what will be your thoughts?

For me, it will be simple - LOVE is where the heart is. Gifts are a mere sign of showing affections one has for the other person. It need not be necessary expensive gifts or lavish dinners just to weight on how much your affection is for a person. To me, its the thought that counts. The gift could just be in a form of a self-prepared meal, a self-made card or even a simple but touching note will be just as meaningful when it is done, prepared or written with a loving thought. This gift to me is PRICELESS!

Just as the definition of LOVE elaborated in the book of 1 Corinthians 13, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres - Love NEVER fails.

Having said all the above, the conclusion to the question above - NO, it need not always be the man only who spends for Valentine's Day. It is just an activity or day for both individuals to remember a day by with fond memories... so, a small but sweet gift that acts as a memory token will do. And as long there is sincere love, everyday is Valentine's Day!

Taking this opportunity to wish all my blogger friends, friends and loved ones out there a very Happy Valentine's Day!

5 Things You Don't Know About Me

2009-02-13T21:11:00.005+08:00

Got this tag from Sandra again after the "25 Random Things About Me" in Facebook. Hmm... I think for the first time that I am sharing so much about me by listing it all out by lined items *LOL* - but, hey.... its interesting. This is how we get to know each other better, and this will be the platform to greater friendship ;)

Just like Sandra, I learned both ballet and piano during my elementary school days. But I guess I was build for tougher stuffs... so, I was practically dropped out from those classes and what was taught to me was returned back to both tutors :p - maybe also because I had two left foot *yikes* that's why I can't dance tempo steps...
Was not the prim and proper type of little lady since my girly days. I played and wrestled with the boys from my nursery days till eermm.... end of my elementary days... (I think..).
Hates mathematics! Don't give me figures, I will NEVER figure myself out when I'm stucked in it. Still remember once I brought home a math paper which I scored only "19" marks and my dad practically shot up the ceiling :p *LOL* - anyway, still hates them.
My no. 4 is SO, SO, SO like Sandra... the gift of reading people, their expressions, verbal communication method, body language, eye movements, habitual characteristics and so forth... from all these, I could practically read 90% of the person. Most of the times my circle of close friends are "picked" through this "feeling" that I have.
And just the opposite of Sandra's 3rd item. I CAN sing.... heehehee.... but not up to the contest-entering-type of level lar... Represented my high school's soprano choir team back then.

And since I have the flow of words, I am revealing another 2 more things that you don't know about me - in short, I want to make it a perfect no. 7 *lol*

As grown-up (or matured) as I may be, I still have some really childish habits that I can't feel off. I still sleep with using a pillow to hug, and a most of the time whenever I travel, I pack along my little pillow as well. My best friend still teases me "eh... you & your bantal busuk => smelly pillow" *AHEM* excuse mua... my pillow is NOT smelly ha... it is being washed and sun-dried often. (I think both my elder boys picked this behaviour from me... Shawn has a favourite pillow which he fondly call "pillow penyek" a.k.a. flat pillow, and James with his smelly bolster) *LOL*
And as tough as I may be, but I can't watch any thriller or horror movies. People will be shocked by my screams rather than by the movie.... kahkahkahkah...

Fast-track to Beauty Tips...

2009-02-09T11:52:00.003+08:00

As we all know, Valentine's is peeking round the corner and many of us ladies are practically like "OMG! How on earth can I look great with such little time?". Well, here are some tips which I got from my Cosmo's mags, and other beauty tips readings which I think helps a great deal in giving that last minute much needed fix :-

Get a Sexy Body

To de-bloat, try this quick detox diet. You’re going to have five meals a day for two days. For the first four meals, whip up a shake made of a) a scoop of protein powder equaling 20 grams of protein, b) a handful of fresh or frozen berries, c) a teaspoon of flaxseed oil, d) ice and water. For the fifth meal, grill or bake four ounces of lean protein (fish, chicken, or turkey breast), one and a half cups of steamed vegetables, and five nuts or olives.
If you’d rather not stick to a strict diet, simply eliminate simple carbs (white bread, rice, pasta) and sugar. Also, resist sprinkling salt on your meals — sodium causes you to retain water.
Drink at least four cups of water plus four cups of green tea (it’s a great fat burner) each day. And nix alcohol, which is high in calories, slows down your metabolism, and makes a mockery of your willpower.
Don’t eat later than 8 p.m. Chowing down at night will leave you puffy and sluggish the next day. Plus, it interrupts the production of the growth hormones that your body produces at night, which decrease body fat and build muscle mass.
On that note, get between seven and eight hours of sleep a night to give your body enough time to make those growth hormones. Even just a couple nights of good sleep will make a big difference.
Two days before the event, start increasing your workout to 90 minutes. Do 30 minutes of cardio, followed by 30 minutes of weights, and then finish up with another half hour of cardio. This will give you instant definition. Can’t swing 90 minutes? Aim for one hour.

Make Your Skin Glow

Exfoliate your entire body in the shower the night before the party for smooth, gleaming skin.
The fastest way to fix puffy eyes or dark circles: Brew two green tea bags, and let them cool. Then lie down and place them over your eyes for 10 minutes. The caffeine will tighten the tissue and reduce swelling.
If you have a zit, shrink it on the spot by wrapping an ice cube in a thin dish towel and resting it on the pimple for three minutes. This will alleviate inflammation and redness. Then cover the zit with a dab of lavender oil, which will dehydrate the blemish and kill bacteria.
To fix dull and peeling lips, try mixing honey with coarse brown sugar, and use it to exfoliate your lips. The sugar will roll-off the dead skin and honey will act as an agent to repair your skin.
Sleep is as crucial for your complexion as it is for your figure, so don’t skimp on it. Your body replenishes skin cells and produces collagen and elastin (which keep your skin strong and plump) while you’re sleeping.

Happy trying!

How Do I Love My Husband?

2009-02-07T13:46:00.004+08:00

Running the tag which I've received from Bonnie earlier this week. Since it's in conjunction with the Valentine's Day which is just a week away from now, this topic is going to be a very appreciative topic for me to review the reasons on why I decide to be part of Nick's life, and to be his life companion.

I love him for the boldness hidden behind the shy-prone outlook. The perfect blend of shyness and boldness that keeps me intrigue in our relationship.
I love him for placing the family above all else when it comes to making any decision.
I love him for allowing me to participate and be involved in major decision making issues and that my thought, advises and ideas does weight to him.
I love him at how fatherly he can be when he babysits our children. When I say babysit means he really does babysitting from A to Z... including nappy changing, making milk, bottle feeding, bringing the children to the doctors, bathing them & so on...
I love him for being homely as he is. Home is his comfort nest, he cleans, repairs, decorates and improve everything within our home.
I love him for being so straightforward, honest and truthful without any hidden agenda.
I love him for the patience he has whenever my temper flares.
And I love him for being himself... true to his personality, true to his nature and true to character.

I guess if I were to go on, the list will just continue without an end. The most important liner that we should always bear in mind - Yesterday is history, and nobody knows what tomorrow holds for us, better it is for us to remember this day with the blessings that has been bestowed upon us, rather than speeding through life and least noticing the wonderful strawberries that makes this marriage and life so sweet and meaningful to live.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy...

My 10 years of Marriage

2009-01-30T19:38:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I am just amazed at how fast time really flies. To be exact, Nick and I have been married for 10 years and 4 months as of January 2009. We did not really celebrated our 10th anniversary in any special way as I was still in my confinement after delivering Lucas. I actually sneaked out and we had a quick lunch at TGI Friday's at Queensbay Mall to mark our 10th anniversary last year. Nick also got me a nice little diamond ring that has a GIA certificate too *grinning dizzily*.

Many of our friends actually never expected for both Nick and myself to tie the knot at almost lightning speed 10 years back. I was the extrovert, ever-so-flamboyant and known as an ex-party animal type of person, whereas Nick was the introvert, shy and quiet where he spent most of his time at home with his schedules filled with only boring activities such as reading comics, watching the norm programs that's aired on national TV and clocking in to bed at 10pm *lol... I can't imagine I had such a goody-two-shoes as my hubby*. We were more like what Paula Abdul's number of "Opposites Attract" rather than the more commonly found couples that shared lots of common interests together.

We both met at a casual friends' hang-out where never even at the back of my mind could imagine I would end up going out with such a boring and not-so-good-looking chap. Can you imagine I was so mean... at a time I even blatantly told Nick that if I was given the score card to rate his looks, I would have rated him "0" => zero. And poor Nick was asking me softly in return "Then, why did you choose to go out with me still?" I told him that it was his inner beauty that attracted me to know more about him and it was also that part of his personality bowled me over. And you know what happened after I answered his question? He melted like butter.... wuahahhaahahaaaa....

Well, what basically was the inner beauty of Nick? Aside from being quiet, shy and extremely low in self-confidence when it comes to courting girls. Nick does not gamble, womanize, smokes nor drinks. He is the pure goody-two-shoes kind of guy. Believe it or not, he does house chores such as washes the dishes, cleans the toilets, helps me with the laundry - yup, including folding clothes, does gardening and bathe the kids. He is also a darn good handyman - my mom simply adores him whenever she needs a small fix on leaking water taps and pipes, electrical points and even to the extend of repairing some electrical items.

So, you guessed all those traits bowled me over? Nah.... not so much of those. I had 3 previous relationships before I start-on with Nick. They were none close to the beautiful traits Nick had. Most of them were practically fanatic about career, sports or cars, and the feelings and thoughts of a woman will normally be the last item on their list to consider thinking about. Nick allows me to speak my mind, values my opinions and shares part of the decision making process. He is a family-oriented type of person where sports, cars and other personal interests will come in least important when it comes to prioritizing his loved ones. So, now you know what keeps me to him.

Our adorable Lucas

2009-01-29T20:31:00.003+08:00

Youngest of our 3 little darlings is none other than our adorable Lucas sweetie. Born on the 28th of August 2008, Lucas would be the last member in our little troop.

Aside from being amazingly sweet, adorable and lovable baby, Lucas has certainly been a miracle gift from God. Lucas practically had no tantrums and would hardly cry unless he has been left alone unattended for a long, long period. Even at times of hunger, he would just call out in little, little shouts asking for attention. The reason for being such a lovable baby is because he smiles and laugh a great deal. So, indirectly Lucas will be the center of attention wherever we bring him about.

I still remember during his early days whenever he needs to poo-poo, his signs are pretty prominent to tell us that he wanted to do his big business - especially when his face starts to turn beet-red and we can almost always hear him "nggh..." *lol* BUT... none of his poo will appear in his nappy unless we take it off and wipe his bum-bum clean before he gets on with his business. So, we can practically place a piece of kitchen towel lining his buttocks before he churns out his *ahem* - you know what lar...

At 2 months plus, Lucas started to drool a great deal. Not that he is teething or whatsoever *still scratching my head on why he starts to drool at such an early stage*. I have now bought dozens of bibs for him to use, as a fresh piece of bib needs to be replaced at almost every half an hour to an hour. I am praying and hoping that the drooling part will end soon, as we mothers all knew that a baby's pretty clothes will not look nice when it is covered under a huge bib. *hahaahaa.... sounding pathetic don't I?*

Anyway, Lucas just turned 5 months as of yesterday, and his greatest milestones this far is able to turn his position, holding up his head steadily and able to push himself up to view the environment surrounding him while laying on his tummy. Lucas is able to respond to his given name and will immediately smiles sweetly back at you. Oh yea! He goo-goos and gaa-gaas a lot too! Most of the time when we place him on the bed with a ceiling fan above him, he will start his babbling session talking to the fan on the ceiling *isn't that cute?*. Well, I am sure there is more to come as he continues to grow lovingly in God's grace.

New-found Passion

2009-01-24T16:59:00.004+08:00

It was months back since I had wanted to start of with my newly found passion of digital scrap-booking ever since laying eyes on one of my friend's works on both manual and digital scrapbooks i.e. Hooi Ling.

Well, I had finally got the engines started and had spent about 1/2 an hour producing my very first digitally scrapped picture from scratch with some of the tools downloaded from some digital scrap-booking websites.

What do you think of the results? I used myself as guinea-pig for testing out the first digital-scrapping lah... pictures of myself was taken sometime back i.e. mid of year 2007.

Piddle, paddles of life... as we move towards Chinese New Year

2009-01-24T10:59:00.006+08:00

Its been almost a week since my last post, and life has been on the fast lane for the past week for me. Other than the upcoming CNY preparations that are way behind schedule *mind me... I still have not gone for any of my CNY goodies festive shopping*, work has been pretty consuming over the recent week both for Nick and also for myself.

On my family, for Shawn is a normal school-going week. But something surprises me is that, he requested for his 1st bento from my maid! *psst... probably I was sharing a lot on Sandra's bento boxes for Indy with him lately*. And he specifically picked on the food that he wants to be seen packed into the bento box for him i.e. fried chicken drummets and sausages. But as he is currently recovering from a bad cough, I had promised him that he will get his choice of bento box when he has recovered.

On James, by right to have started his nursery days by now since he is at age 4 this year. But over some silly circumstances, and also that he has indicated that he did not want to start schooling yet, we are giving him another half year's time as allowance before he needs to be enrolled. Till then, he is still the temper-prone boy at home as usual.

As for our adorable Lucas, he has been a little ill this week as the viruses from his two elder brothers had caught him - flu and cough. Poor baby... earlier he was sneezing pretty frequently and experienced several nose blocks during nights. And now, he is coughing - mostly at night. Hey, speaking of coughing at night - Nick and I read an article circulated through emails that to relief children from night coughs, Vicks Vapor Rub can do the trick. By applying some generous amount on the bottom of both feet and then cover it with socks, within 5 minutes the child/baby can be relieved from the night coughs. And guess what? That trick really did wonders! Both for Shawn and also on Lucas.

Well, Lucas is still on the road to recovery, and is doing pretty fine with it. Nick and myself are not the type of people that brings our kids to the doctors at the first call/signs of illness. We prefer to allow the child's antibodies to do the first phase of defense rather than washing down both good and bad cells with antibiotics without giving the internal systems a chance to fight on its own. Mild fever is pretty norm when it comes to this phase as it is indicating the body is fighting with the virus internally. So, feeding them with ample water, plenty of rest and healthier blend of food will help naturally. But should the fever goes beyond 38.5 degrees celcius, medical attention is required.

That's for the past week updates on my life, my experiences and my family. I would also like to take this opportunity to wish all our friends, relatives and families who celebrates chinese new year, a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! May the "Niu" year ahead be filled with great health, good wealth and prosperity in abundance for all.

Boys will be BOYS.... James

2009-01-18T10:19:00.003+08:00

Our second son, James who has just turned 3 years old last mid-October, and will be 4 years old by this mid-Oct. James in a nutshell is an active, playful, full of funny temperaments and is an independent soul with his own set of mind over things and issues.

In person, James is both a feisty and a heart-catcher over little, little actions that he'll do to bowl you over head over heels. As a baby, James has a cheerful laugh and has been a fast-learner and develops much faster comparing with other children. Believe it or not, at 3 months old, he was learning to mimic my actions, and practicing it fast. At 5 months, he can even cry "di.. di..." as his indication to call his daddy. I really could not believe my own ears until after several attempts made by him. By 10 months, he started standing on his own and by 11 months has started walking independently without support.

On his power of speech, by 2 years old, he can clearly and correctly say in full sentences on his ideas, needs and wants. And by 2.5 years old, his brain was fully developed. You can test this out on your child to see if his/her brain is fully developed or not by asking him/her to bend both their thumbs simultaneously at the same time. If they can perform this action, it means their brain is fully developed. If they can't, please do not push them - let them develop naturally.

On food... ha... this is the best part, James is a bin. Why would I call him a bin? It is because he eats practically everything that is edible!

Unlike his elder brother, James is Shawn's total opposite. Shawn likes to play and makes noises as he plays, while James appreciates serenity and quietness. Shawn is friendly and is able to make friends instantaneously with others - both adults and children, while James takes a little while to warm up - especially to adults. Shawn is very outspoken, whereas James is a little shy. James would loved to be treated like an adult, he likes people to reason things out with him and he will oppose if he thinks and feels unhappy with your decision - which can be pretty daunting for a parent like me. If he does not get things done his way, he will try a different approach just to get his target spot on, which could be even butter-you-up method. Smart guy isn't he?

That's just purely a boy...

Our Little Man... Shawn

2009-01-16T18:54:00.005+08:00

Shawn has always been a blessing to us. Being the first child, naturally he gets all the attention from both Nick's parents as well as mine. Other than being showered with unconditional love and gifts, he tends to get spoiled with all the goodies and sweets which should be refrained from taking during a bad cough or sore throat. Well, it still is happening till now.

Born in the year of the dragon, Shawn is 9 years old this year. His favourite past time is playing with the complicated LEGO and LASY sets, which he enjoys mostly other than spending most of his other spare time watching the idiot box - I call it - a.k.a. the television set. I practically had to peel him off the set when he's glued to it, just to get him to go about doing his homework and chores.

Food choice.... *sigh* is always a challenge to serve him with a decent meal. Shawn hates prawns, fishes, seafood, pork and now to add into the list - even his used-to-be-favourite snack i.e. cheese! In short... he's a real picky-eater! Up to the extend of picking out those items listed out above if he sees them lying in his dish *faint*.

In person, Shawn is a cheerful, pretty independent and is a very loving soul. I still remember an incident when he was only 3 years old, and he was alone with me when I was very sick - breathlessness actually. He cared for me, fetch me water, hold my cup, recovered it for me and even did little back rubs for me *awwww... so sweet*.

Well... that's our little man...

Life in the past week

2009-01-14T12:08:00.003+08:00

This is further to Bonnie's question...

On Shawn...
School for Shawn this year was pretty fine for a start. Since this year is his first year in morning school (his primary 1 and 2 was in the afternoon session), he can cope with it pretty well - especially for an ADHD child. I have to admit that I am quite restless initially as I worried sick if he can adapt well with the switch - knowing that he's an night-owl that doesn't go to bed without me *ahem....* holding my cane. Well, I am certainly very happy that when it turned out otherwise, and that he is performing and behaving quite well this year.

Shawn's mode of transport to and fro from school has been with the school bus since his primary 1 days. So, there are no changes other than the school hours for him. And being at primary 3 this year, he is pretty independent in knowing what to expect and be prepared for in a fresh year. To be exact, after the second day of school, I haven't been appearing to his school during his recess break - and he has been coping with it very well *I am impressed with my boy*.

On my CNY preparation...
To be honest, I have done nothing for CNY this year *grinning shyly*. You'll be asking why so late still have not started with my preparation - my answer: not in the mood. With the gloominess lurking in the air on the uncertainty for most people in the industry due to the economic downturn, and knowing darn well what is coming right after CNY, my hubby and myself really do not have any mood to celebrate CNY. We intend to just give angpows to my parents and ILs only, and probably get a few boxes of mandarins for gift-exchange during house visits. Extremely simple hor... yea... have to agree to that. No CNY props and decos up in my house either, coz we are not planning to invite anyone over too. Yup, our spirit is that low.

Why so low when it doesn't affect us? - you might be thinking... Well, though it will not affect us, but it will affect the market. When people loose their jobs, the spending power is lowered directly, crime rate will increase, and God knows what will happen next. Coupled with the passing of one of my uncles - at the age of 68 only, and being an ex-Malaysian footballer who frequented medical check-ups and clinical visits, and has a good medical record - died of a heart failure.... we hardly could spark off any interest to celebrate the CNY.

Well, just hope that a trip to the mall this weekend to stock up some items will help to alleviate our emotions.

Loosing Pace?

2009-01-13T18:19:00.003+08:00

I have not been blogging this year and I must admit that I really do not know where should I start. Well, let's just start with the beginning of the year. We did not really celebrated new year like most youngsters do when they usher in the new year. New year was pretty blended in like any other days for a family of 5 for us.

And with the rushing and tying up loose ends before I take leave from my previous employer, I could hardly recall what took place other than some last minute handover as my assistant was away on long vacation till 2nd January 2009, which so happens to be my last day with the company as well.

Right then, it was the start of a fresh school year for Shawn and I had a hell of a time rushing in and out and making sure all needs and necessities are there and ready for him, coupled with my own errands to run before heading down south to UPM (Universiti Putra Malaysia) on the 9th of Jan.

In between, I managed to take a little break to celebrate a good buddy's birthday and we had a great lunch at a Japanese restaurant located next to Harvey Norman at Queensbay Mall *pardon me I forgotten the name of the restaurant*.

And now, after the mad-rush weekend in Serdang/Puchong coupled with lack of sleep and rest, which include attending the funeral of my sudden demised uncle whilst I was in KL, I am finally back to Penang but down with a bad runny nose and sore throat, and loaded with tons of assignments and research work to complete by this quarter *eyes rolling with the thought of 7 assignments in specific to be completed*.

Everything happened past the last two weeks was like flashes in my mind, and I could hardly recall the specifics of each incident. Let's just hope that my cloggy nose will clear off soon and my blurry mind will recover its "vision" soon. *LOL for being in the state of blur*

Now, would you excuse me while I go and catch some forty winks so that I will end my zombie days soon. *wink wink*

Recap of 2008 and Welcoming of 2009

2008-12-31T11:27:00.003+08:00

As the year is coming to an end for 2008, I can now look back and catch a glimpse of the happenings in my life and counting the blessings that the Lord has blessed me and my family with throughout the year :-

* my 2008 year had started with a good promotion and a fat pay rise;

* hubby was promoted and given a pay rise too;

* next came the news that I had conceived my third child - though it was hard to digest back then as the baby news came at the least expected time, but we are all blessed with this wonderful gift from God;

* had the opportunity to spear-head to massive projects and accomplished my part with a contented smile;

* both my elder boys - Shawn and James went through a wonderful year healthily without any major illnesses;

* though my 3rd pregnancy was a tough one as I was under-nourished and was kept under the watchful eyes of the medical practitioners, blessed that baby Lucas is born healthy and is a fiesty little boy;

* received another promotion and pay rise in the third quarter;

* Shawn (my eldest boy) had a miracle 3rd front tooth replacing his 2nd one which he happened to lick till it dropped off;

* just before Christmas, a wonderful Xmas gift from the Lord for another new phase in my career life with another fatter pay; *grinning sheepishly*

* last but not least, the best of all to end the year with the invitation from University Putra Malaysia to do my Masters in Human Resource Management was the cherry on top of the wonderful dessert!

Well, that's the wonderful list that I could fondly remember for my year 2008. And I am sure that there will be many more in stored for us in 2009.

As a kickstart for year 2009, I am heading for my registration in UPM on the 9th of Jan 2009, and my classes will start instantaneously on the 10th of Jan 2009. Wouldn't that be a great start for me? *grinning happily again*

My new year resolution? "Dear Abba, my Heavenly Father, I just pray and wished that my family and me will all have a steadfast and productive, peaceful and serene, wonderful and amazing, safe and secure, fun-filled and joy in abundance of a year in 2009 filled with Your love, Your grace, Your mercy and Your wisdom, in Jesus most precious name I pray- Amen". That's for my prayers.

As for my personal resolution, learn to save more money, spend less on unnecessary items and continue to live a life filled with faith, forgiveness and obedience, and let God steer my life.

Here's to unfold the fresh start of year 2009 and beyond.... humbly me and my family wishing all our friends, families and loved ones out there....

Happy New Year 2009!

Controlling Outbursts

2008-12-30T11:43:00.003+08:00

Controlling outbursts can be difficult for both parents and kids, we are still dealing with the “extra” temper that James, our 2nd boy has. And coping with it has never been easy since he is only 3 years old and has not reached the stage of reasoning as yet. So, right now it comes to the role for us as parents to help him to deal and cope with his anger management. Who said bringing up children will be an easy tasks *phew* I, for one really salute those mothers who had more than 2 kids back then. How on earth can they managed to bring up all of them so beautifully and positively? *it still kept me pondering though*.

Helping children with anger management issues is a touch job for parents who love them. First and foremost, trying to keep your cool and to be patient and positive has never been an easy task. And knowing that it will take the same skills needed for your child to develop will take time that just about every child needs can improve with the right coaching methods applied by us being the parents.

A Parent’s Role
Managing your kids, whether it’s one or more, will always be a challenge nowadays. As parents, we need to manage the days and keeping the peace level to the best we can. Though it is easier said than done as keeping your cool seems impossible, but whether you’re reacting to an occasional temper flare-up or a pattern of outbursts, managing your own anger when things get heated will make it easier to teach kids to do the same.

To help tame a temper, try to be your child’s ally, as you're both rooting for your child to triumph over the temper that keeps getting him or her into trouble. While your own patience may be frayed by the angry outbursts, opposition, defiance, arguing, throwing of items, kicking, and talking back, it is also during these episodes that you need your patience most. Of course you do feel angry and mad, but what counts is how you handle that.

Reacting to your child’s meltdowns with yelling and outbursts of your own will only teach your child to do the same. But keeping your cool and calmly working through a frustrating situation allows you to show and teach your child the appropriate ways to handle his or her anger and frustration.

Earlier, I very often hear both my elder boys fighting over a toy in the other room, and I would normally have ignored it, hoping that they would work it out themselves. But then the arguing turns into screaming, and soon I hear doors slamming, the thump of hitting, and an eruption into tears. That’s when I decide to get involved before someone gets hurt. By the time I get to the scene of the fight, I am mostly at the end of my own rope. After all, the sound of screaming is upsetting, and I may be frustrated that my kids are not sharing or trying to get along.

So what’s the best way for you to react, when the same scenes happened to you? With your own self-control intact, teaching by example is your most powerful tool. Speak calmly, clearly, and firmly but not with anger, blame, harsh criticisms, threats, or putdowns. Of course, that’s easier said than done. But remember that you’re trying to teach your child how to handle anger. If you yell or threaten, you'll model and ingrain the exact kinds of behavior you want to discourage. Your child sees you so angry and so incapable of controlling your own temper that you can’t help but scream, and that certainly will not help your child learn not to scream.

What You Can Do
Regulating emotions and managing behavior are skills that develop slowly over time during childhood. Just like any other skills, your child will need to learn and practice them, with your help.

If it’s uncharacteristic for your child to have a tantrum, on the rare occasion that it happens all you may need to do is clearly but calmly review the rules. "I know you’re upset, but no yelling and no name-calling, please" may be all your child needs to gain composure. Follow up by clearly, calmly, and patiently giving an instruction like "tell me what you’re upset about" or "please apologize to your brother for calling him that name." In this way, you’re guiding your child back to acceptable behavior and encouraging self-control.

Kids whose temper outbursts are routine may lack the necessary self-control to deal with frustration and anger, and may require more help managing those emotions. These steps may help:

Help your child put it into words. If your child is in the midst of an outburst, find out what’s wrong. If necessary, use a time-out to get your child to settle down, or calmly issue a reminder about house rules and expectations - "There’s no yelling or throwing stuff; please stop that right now and cool your jets." Remind your child to talk to you without whining, sulking, or yelling. Once your child calms down, ask what got him or her so upset. You might say, "Use your words to tell me what’s wrong and what you’re mad about." By doing this you help your child put emotions into words and figure out what, if anything, needs to be done to solve the problem.

Listen and respond. Once your child puts the feelings into words, it’s up to you to listen and say that you understand. If your child is struggling for words, offer some help: "so that made you angry," "you must have felt frustrated," or "that must have hurt your feelings." Offer to help find an answer if there’s a problem to be solved, a conflict to be mended, or if an apology is required. Many times, feeling listened to and understood is all kids need to regain their composure. But while acknowledging your child's feelings, it’s important to make it clear that strong emotions aren’t an excuse for unacceptable behavior. "I know you’re mad, but it’s still not OK to hit." Then tell your child some things to try instead.

Create clear ground rules and stick to them. Set and maintain clear expectations for what is and what is not acceptable. You can do this without using threats, accusations, or putdowns. Your child will get the message if you make clear, simple statements about what’s off limits and explain what you want him or her to do. You might say: "There’s no yelling in this house. Use your words to tell me what’s upsetting you." Or try these:
* In this family, we don’t hit or push or shove.
* There’s no screaming allowed.
* There's no door-slamming in our house.
* There’s no name calling.
* We don’t do that in this family.
* You may not throw things or break things on purpose.

Coping Strategies for Your Child
Kids, who have learned that it is not OK to yell, hit, and throw stuff when they are upset need other strategies for calming down when they are angry. Offer some ideas to help your child learn safe ways to get the anger out or to find other activities that can create a better mood.

Take a break from the situation. Tell your child that it’s OK to walk away from a conflict to avoid an angry outburst. By moving to another part of the house or the backyard, your child can get some space and work on calming down.

Find a way to safely & objectively get the anger out. There may be no punching walls or even pillows, but you can suggest some good ways for a child to vent. Doing a bunch of jumping jacks, dancing around the bedroom, or going outside and do some cycling are all good choices. Or your child can choose to write about or draw a picture of what is so upsetting.

Learn to shift. This one is tough for kids and adults, too. Explain that part of calming down is moving from a really angry mood to a more in-control composure. Instead of thinking of the person or situation that caused the anger, encourage your son or daughter to think of something else to do. Suggest things to think of or do that might bring about a better mood. Your child may feel better after a walk around the block, a bike ride, playing a game, reading a favorite book, digging in the garden, or listening to a favorite song. Try one of these things together so you both experience how doing something different can change the way a person feels.

Building a Strong Foundation
Fortunately, really angry episodes do not happen too often for most kids. Those with temper troubles often have an active, strong-willed style and extra energy that needs to be discharged. Try these steps during the calm times which they can prevent problems before they start by helping your child learn and practice skills needed to manage the heat of the moment:

Help your child label emotions. Help your child get in the habit of saying what he or she is feeling and why — for example, "I'm mad because I have to clean my room while my friends are playing." Using words does not get your child out of doing a chore, but having the discussion can defuse the situation. You are having a conversation instead of an argument. Praise your child for talking about it instead of slamming the door, for instance.

See that your child gets a lot of physical activity. Active play can really help kids who have big tempers. Encourage outside play and sports your child likes. Sports and physical activities can be especially good for kids who are trying to get their tempers under control. But any activity that gets the heart pumping can help burn off energy and stress.

Encourage your child to take control. Compare a temper to a puppy that has not learned to behave and that is running around all over the place getting into things. Puppies might not mean to be bad — but they need to be trained so that they can learn that there is no shoe eating, no jumping on people or certain furniture, etc. The point is that your child’s temper is just like a puppy that needs to be trained to learn when it is OK to play, how to use all that rambunctious energy, and how to follow rules.

Try to be flexible. Parenting can be a fatiguing experience, but try not to be too rigid. Hearing a constant chorus of "no" can be disheartening for kids. Sometimes, of course, "no" is absolutely the only answer — "no, you can’t ride your bike without your helmet!" But other times, you might let the kids win one. For instance, if your child wants to keep the game he’s at going a little longer, maybe give it 15 more minutes.

As anyone who’s been really angry knows, following sensible advice can be tough when emotions run high. Give your child responsibility for getting under control, but be there to remind him or her of how to do it.

Most kids can learn to get better at handling anger and frustration. But if your child frequently gets into fights and arguments with friends, siblings, and adults, additional help might be needed. Talk with the other adults in your child’s life such as teachers, school counselors, and coaches might be able to help, and your child’s doctor can recommend a counselor or psychologist.

Understanding ADHD

2008-12-29T16:09:00.003+08:00

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) cannot be cured, but it certainly can be successfully managed. Your child's doctor will work with you to develop an individualized, long-term plan. The goal is to help your child learn to control his or her own behavior and to help families create an atmosphere in which this is most likely to happen. In most cases, ADHD is best treated with a combination of medication and behavior therapy. Any good treatment plan will require close follow-up and monitoring, and your doctor may make adjustments along the way. It is vital for parents to actively participate in their child's treatment plan, as parent education is also considered an important part of ADHD management.

Medications

Several different types of medications may be used to treat ADHD: Stimulants are the best-known treatments — they've been used for more than 50 years in the treatment of ADHD. Some require several doses per day, each lasting about 4 hours; some last up to 12 hours. Possible side effects include decreased appetite, stomachache, irritability, and insomnia. There is currently no evidence of long-term side effects for such stimulants. Non-stimulants were approved for treating ADHD in 2003. It appears to have fewer side effects compared to stimulants and can last up to 24 hours. Antidepressants are sometimes taken as an alternative treatment option; however, in 2004 the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) issued a warning that these drugs may lead to a rare increased risk of suicide in children and teens. If an antidepressant is recommended for your child, be sure to discuss these risks with your doctor.

Medications can affect kids differently, and a child may respond well to one but not another. When determining the correct treatment, the doctor might try various medications in various doses, especially if your child is being treated for ADHD along with another disorder. Be clear of each medication prescribed for your child as each may have their own adverse reactions.

Behavioral Therapy

Research has shown that medications used to help curb impulsive behaviour and attention difficulties are more effective when combined with behavioural therapy. Behavioural therapy attempts to change behavior patterns by: reorganizing a child's home and school environment, giving clear directions and commands setting up a system of consistent rewards for appropriate behaviours and negative consequences for inappropriate ones. Here are examples of behavioural strategies that may help a child with ADHD :-

Create a routine ~ Try to follow the same schedule every day, from wake-up time to bedtime. Post the schedule in a prominent place, so your child can see what's expected throughout the day and when it's time for homework, play, and chores.
Get organized ~ Put schoolbags, clothing, and toys in the same place every day so your child will be less likely to lose them.
Avoid distractions ~ Turn off the TV set, radio, and computer games, especially when your child is doing his or her homework.
Limit choices ~ Offer a choice between two things (this outfit, meal, toy, etc., or that one) so that your child is not overwhelmed and over-stimulated.
Change your interactions methods with your child ~ Instead of long-winded explanations and cajoling, use clear, brief directions to remind your child of responsibilities.
Use goals and rewards ~ Use a chart to list goals and track positive behaviours, then reward your child's efforts. Be sure the goals are realistic (think baby steps rather than overnight success).
Discipline effectively ~ Instead of yelling or spanking, use timeouts or removal of privileges as consequences for inappropriate behaviour. Younger children may simply need to be distracted or ignored until they display better behaviour.
Help your child discover a talent ~ All kids need to experience success to feel good about themselves. Finding out what your child does well — whether it's sports, art, or music — can boost their social skills and self-esteem level.

Parent Training

Parenting a child with ADHD often brings special challenges. Children with ADHD may not respond well to typical parenting practices. Also, because ADHD tends to run in families, parents may also have some problems with organization and consistency themselves and need active coaching to help learn these skills. Experts recommend parent education and support groups to help family members accept the diagnosis and to teach them how to help kids organize their environment, develop problem-solving skills, and cope with frustrations. Training can also teach parents to respond appropriately to a child's most trying behaviours with calm disciplining techniques. Individual or family counseling can also be helpful.

The taboo of ADHD

2008-12-29T14:32:00.001+08:00

I still remember my spontaneous reaction when I heard the news that Shawn was classified as an ADHD child…. My mind went blank…. I could not accept the fact that my child is not a normal child. And almost instantaneously a gloomy dark cloud of depression engulfed me. I started self-blaming and felt as if I had hit a flat wall and there is no way I could brace myself to break past this hurdle in life.

It all had started when I was pressing on for answers to determine the finding for Shawn as it has always been a struggle for me to get him settled down long enough to complete even the simplest of the tasks, from chores to homework. And the frequent complaints we received from his kindergarten teachers about his inattentive and disruptive behavior in class are becoming too frequent to even ignore. I approached both our family doctor and Shawn's pediatrician for a reason for his hyperactive behaviours. After 2 years of both doctors telling me that Shawn's behaviour was normal since he can sit down quietly to finish a show/movie, and there should not be any point of alarming for me to think that he has some kind of disorders, I knew I had to seek for a psychiatrist help in order to further understand the causes of Shawn's hyperactivity.

After completing the Vanderbilt's test for Shawn at the hospital, it was determined that Shawn is classified as the Combined Type of ADHD. I further went on to search and understand the causes of ADHD, what is ADHD, ways to treat child with ADHD and how to bring up a child with ADHD. Below are some of the common questions on ADHD :-

What causes ADHD?

ADHD is known as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in long, and also known as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) in the earlier days. And what causes ADHD is still unknown, but inherited genetic factors are likely responsible. Research has found a possible link between ADHD with brain structure, the function of chemicals in the brain that help regulate attention and acitivity (dopamine and neropinephrine), and differences in function of some of the areas of the brain that affect attention and impulse control.

A study done by the National Institute of Mental Health found that certain parts of the brain of children with ADHD develops normally but about 3 years later than in children without ADHD. This could possibly be the reason why some children seem to grow out of the disorder.

What are the Symptoms?

The symptoms of ADHD may include inattention, which is having a short attention span and being easily distracted; impulsivity, which can cause a person to do dangerous or unwise things without thinking about the consequences; and hyperactivity, which is appropriate or excessive activity.

The symptoms affect people in all age groups who have ADHD. But typical behaviour varies by age. In preschool-age children, symptoms may be hard to identify. Normal behaviour in young children periodically includes all of the major symptoms. ADHD is distinguished from normal behaviour by the severity and consistency of symptoms.

Children between the ages of 6 and 12 usually show more obvious signs of ADHD than other age groups. School expectations can make symptoms more noticeable. For some children, school is the first setting where academic performance and socialization abilities are assessed. But it often is more difficult to detect ADHD when inattention is the primary symptom and the child is otherwise well-behaved. The presence of ADHD may be indicated by low grades, poor organization and study skills, socialization problems and feeling rejected by peers, and dislike of school and frustration with school work.

Teens between the ages of 13 and 18 may be in better control of disruptive behaviour related to hyperactivity. Other problems that began in earlier years may continue or become worse when ADHD is not treated. Teens with inattention problems who previously managed to copy may start to fall behind in schoolwork and exams. This is especially true when major changes occur, such as starting at a new school or attending college.

Symptoms of ADHD in adults may not be as noticeable. Many adults with ADHD have not been diagnosed and treated. These people can develop possible problems such as depression and difficulty maintaining a job.

Ways to treat ADHD

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has established the symptoms and criteria for diagnosing ADHD. These criteria, like I have mentioned Shawn had the Combined Type is also being listed into the three basic types based on major symptoms; ADHD, predominantly inattentive type, ADHD, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type, and ADHD, combined type. In addition, some people are diagnosed with ADHD, not otherwise specified when symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity are present but do not fit into one of the three types.

A doctor will normally use criteria for diagnosing ADHD to determine if a child has ADHD. Information used to diagnosed the condition will includes an interview with the child, understanding the medical history of the child which includes asking a parent about the child's social, emotional, educational and behavioural history, physical examination and behaviour rating scales for ADHD.

Parents often question whether ADHD is over-diagnosed. Many doctors and researchers believe that the increase in ADHD diagnoses results from improved detection techniques, especially the standardization of assessment criteria.

Early Detection

Early detection and identification of the signs of ADHD does help both parents and doctors to be able to treat the child earlier. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) guidelines recommend that doctors ask parents about behavior and school performance during regularly scheduled well-child visits. If one are concerned about how your child's temperament, learning skills, or behavior is developing, do talk with your doctor during your next visit.

Preparation before meeting with your doctor, think about at what age your child's symptoms began. In addition, you and other caregivers should record when the behavior occurs and how long it lasts. An important component of evaluation for ADHD is considering the kinds of problems that result from the behaviors and to what extent they affect academic performance and social behavior.

Effects on Family

Raising a child who has ADHD can be a challenge. Parents must consistently monitor their child and respond to problem behavior appropriately. Should there be other issues that are causing stress within a family, such as divorce, violence, or drug or alcohol abuse, it may be even more difficult to deal with for a child who has ADHD.

Conditions that often accompany ADHD

There is mounting evidence that people with ADHD commonly have one or more other disorders such as dyslexia, oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, anxiety, and depression.

Treatment for ADHD can help control such symptoms, and allowing a child to grow and develop normally. Treatment also can decrease the frustration, discouragement, and failure that many people with ADHD experience throughout their lives.

A Silent Wish on Christmas…

2008-12-24T11:25:00.006+08:00

May this season of giving bring the happiest of moments and the warmest of memories to keep in your heart all year long.

At the holidays, we're thinking about all the good times we've shared, all the special things we've done together, and all that your friendship has meant to us.

Here's me and my family wishing all a very blessed, joyous, bountiful and merry Christmas to everyone in our friends, relatives, colleagues and extended friends and families out there. May this Christmas be as white, peaceful and loving for every beautiful individual in our lives.

Mixed Feelings...

2008-12-22T14:31:00.002+08:00

Have you ever had mixed feelings when you wanted to leave an existing company to start on a fresh job?

Well, I certainly do. Just last Friday, I was battling internally to walk up to my CEO's office with the intention of notifying him of my decision to resign. The anxiety almost ate me up as I had been waiting the entire morning till late afternoon to be able to catch a small time slot to talk to him about my intentions.

Anyway, the time came and my heart was pulsating so fast that I almost fainted while walking towards the CEO’s office. But, I thank God for the tranquility and serenity that flows over and enveloped me as I stepped into his room. Estimating the worse to happen (even prepared if I am going to be escorted out within 24 hours), I was more than prepared to face whatsoever consequences were to come next.

After spending about 30 minutes of uncovered discussions and opinions, the certainty of my decision to move on gradually became clearer. And whatever was said and mentioned in the room by my CEO confirms that my decision was right and it will be a wise move. Now, is the grueling waiting period for acceptance of my resignation. The CEO made his mind clear to me that he will not hold me back from my decision to move on, yet (right… there is still a “yet”), which made my heart skipped a beat, he did not want to take my written resignation and was telling me verbally that he is not accepting the fact that I wanted to resign, and wanted to talk to me further on this again topic *big SIGH*

Till today, he has been avoiding to see me and has now travelled overseas for some business trips. What will the outcome be for my next step? It is still uncertain. Though I am very adamant in moving on as I have accepted the offer from the my future employer, but the CEO is trying to buy time in making me to rethink over my decision again.

I am still pondering on what will he do next to me…

One Chapter Ends, Another Chapter Awaits

2008-12-18T14:12:00.004+08:00

Remember I was talking about my job future in my earlier post, and that if it is God’s will, the offer will be slapped upon me? Well, I can blog about it now. God has really been opening doors for me, and the offer really did slapped on me *grinning sheepishly*.

Never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought things would just move so fast. Exactly 3 weeks from my first meet up with them till today the deal is closed, inclusive of 3 sessions of grueling meet-up with both their country and regional directors and the approval from the States, the deal is finally in my hands.

“What made you move from your current comfort zone?” – I guess that would be the main question people will be asking me. Many will be thinking I am in the comfort zone when in actual fact I am not. Employers will always have their choice and pick in choosing whom they want to hire, but nevertheless, the employees too have equal rights in choosing whom they want to be their employers and superiors as well.

It’s a fair world out there, and there is always no limits just like the saying goes “the sky has no limits”. Whoever can offer a better sitting and built ship will always carry the finest of all qualities. Do not get me wrong here, I am not complaining about my present company and neither do I have the rights to comment further about their financial status when I am not sitting in their Board. In turbulent times like these, all ships – including battleships are being put to the most strenuous test of endurance, strength, perseverance and time. One has to be wise enough to make the right pick or choice on which ship you think that can ferry you through these bad times.

And having said all these, I only have God to thank for providing me with the right sturdy ship that will ferry me through these times.

The Truth About Blogging in Me

2008-12-18T08:04:00.002+08:00

Blogging... what gave me that spur to start blogging about the environment and the life that surrounds me? Well, I used to detail down every happening of my life during my school days (that was like some 15 years back) *oops! I just indirectly disclosed my age!* Back then, I used to note everything down in my little diary on a daily basis. And gradually, as I completed my secondary school and started working and so forth... my penning down habit sort of followed through and started dwindling down to recording of specific events and dates only, right up to zero records *lol* Simple, the main reason was, I only wanted to remember good times and not write about unhappy moments which I do not want to remember. sounds familiar huh... living in denial of the truth.

Earlier this year, I followed through with a friend's blog which she'll blog mostly about her life and her little darling son, Darren in her Friendster's blog. Keeping up with her life stories was exciting and it sort of given me the longing to start detailing about my life again like what I had used to do back during my early teenage days. Then, I came across Bonnie's blog i.e. http://wirahwanniewatari.blogspot.com where she blogs about her life and her little adorable son, Wawa.... *wuah!* I started to ponder.... "Am I missing something in my life? How would I recall some special happenings when I do not blog or write about it for my memory sake". This actually drew the old courage back to write about my thoughts, my life experiences, my opinions and much more to come.

Here, I actually have Guat Khim and Bonnie to thank for, for re-lighting my interest and giving me that spark to start writing about my life and my surroundings again. I actually never had the courage to do so until I came across Bonnie's blog. Thanks in heaps ladies!

Switch UP!

2008-12-17T09:08:00.003+08:00

I shared about my journey to cloth diapering in Mia Bambina's blog, and was thinking I could do the same here by posting and sharing with all here in my blog.

".. why you do need another cloth diapers? "
Well, I am still in the stage of CD collecting as both my 2 younger boys (James is 3 years and Lucas is 3.5 months) are now fully on CDs. Till present, my diaper stash collection is still less than 20pieces. Having an extra CD, and all the more when it is one of my OS favorites, for sure I’ll be leaping with joy to participate in this contest.

".. and what made you convert to cloths? "
When I had Shawn (my first born), we really had to spend a lot of money purchasing disposables as he does poo and pee a lot. On an average scale, he will be using at least 6 diapers in a day and another 2 at night. That would be a minimum of 8 disposable diapers if not more. Moreover, over long wearing period, Shawn started developing some serious diaper rash. It was then, I decided to change to the conventional method of cloth diapering. And with the scale of Shawn being a heavy wetter, I needed 4 dozens of cloth diapers in order to meet with the needs.

When James came along in late 2005, I felt I had it through and through with the conventional cloth diapering as it was really a hassle as we are staying in an apartment where space was always a constraint for effective sun drying. That’s when we actually started using disposables again. And I have to agree with Sandra – it was pinching into our pockets at the rate of James’s usage too.

As the effects of global warming are getting more alarming these days, and with the birth of Lucas, I felt I needed to find a solution to help with the environment and at the same time, I could save some extra cash for the global economic downturn. That’s when the internet has been my main source of information desk. I read a lot about the modern and chic method of cloth diapering and the fact that there were many positive feedbacks about pursuing on an exciting journey of cloth diapering, and that’s when I made the switch for good. And I certainly have no regrets over my decision as I DO save the environment and I AM saving my pockets in a long run as well.

"extras..."
Personally, I felt the new line of CDing is a great experience that all mommys and daddys should venture on. It has been the greatest invention for our beloved children, and what's more to shower them with great health and skincare. And I have to admit that since using CD for Lucas, I had actually eliminate the need to use diaper rash cream. Lucas's bums has been so soft and smooth ever since the switch. And a tip here, I do not even need to use those disposable wipes after each long-wearing of at least 12 hours (with 1 hemp insert & 1 microfibre insert) as my baby's skin is still dry, unlike the effects from each disposable diaper where Lucas's skin will be damp and reddish from the soak. Isn't this a great bargain that we should trade away disposables for? Think about it..... *grinning*

some pictures to share with all who do not know what the revolution of cloth diapers has evolved and developed into :-

Happy Heiny's one-size pocket diaper (don't you think the prints are cute?)

Cute baby girl wearing a Drybees fitted cloth diaper

Drybees fitted back-view

How it works...

So, aren't they facisnating? No more the old-fashioned style of pins and folding required. Of course, there are still unbleached prefolds which will perform better than the old-fashion-bleached prefolds as they absorbed more and will cost cheaper than these fitted/one-sized pocket/all-in-one diapers. But hey, that's our share and responsibility in providing the best for our babies and the environment that we are trying to save so that our children can enjoy them too compared to the little investment that we make.

The Future

2008-12-17T09:04:00.000+08:00

Well, it has been sometime that I lost track on blogging about my past 2 weeks’ experiences. Hmm… the field switch I was sharing about in my earlier post was purely a leap of spontaneous act over some silly situations. HR has always been my passion and my main interest at work and in studies. I could never peel myself away from it *lol*

Well, another phase that I am facing. A better deal… hmm… how should I phrase it? Let’s put it this way, with the effects of the global economic meltdown, the worse is yet to come, and job security is the main taboo now for every individual even for myself as it is our main rice bowl for livelihood. I sincerely have to thank God for what I have as I am given the opportunity to venture into an extremely large organization, and into their HR field too. I am still seeking God’s confirmation on this opportunity. If the path is God’s chosen path for me, the offer will just be slapped upon me *grinning*.

Will blog on this soon *crossing my fingers & uttering a word of thanks*.

Change of Field...

2008-12-01T17:53:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I asked myself how much have I contributed in the field that I am in now. Well, I am in the human resources field and practicing in a SME company as its HR Manager at present.

Human resource is certainly an exciting field to be in if one has the passion to work with people, and some very difficult people as well *lol*. I have been in the HR industry for the last 8 years as far as I could recall for now spontaneously, and sometimes I just feel I am too exhausted to continue.

Meeting and studying human behaviourals has always been my passion, which explains the reason why I am here in the first place. But right now, a new opportunity awaits on the horizon for me to skip and hop into my another favourite industry - procurement. What more, its with a large, stabilised and well-known MNC. Aside from human resource, being in procurement does allows me to continue my passion to meet and study human behaviourals too. (procurement is also one of my main fields aside from HR)

No doubt the opportunity looks tempting when I feel exhausted after the long toll. I am still giving it a serious thought now especially if I were to continue in my present place, will there be job security for me when the economic meltdown will not recover till at least the third quarter next year.

Still pondering...

Honda ASIMO

2008-11-30T10:14:00.003+08:00

Finally, my time came to experience the much talked about ASIMO last night. Hubby brought me, James, Lucas and our maid along to Queensbay Mall last night to catch the last interaction & performance session with ASIMO for yesterday. Shawn was with my IL's, and had his opportunity to experience ASIMO on last Friday (a day ahead before all of us).

Well, ASIMO stands at 130cm tall and was invented with the i-Walk technology that enables him to walk in any direction, predicting his next movements in real time and shifting his centre of gravity in anticipation. ASIMO can even smoothly shift direction while walking or running (isn't that amazing?)

ASIMO's body is made of magnesium alloy covered with a plastic resin, which makes ASIMO very durable and lightweight, which weighs just 54kg (geez.. lighter than some of us).

What amazes me is ASIMO's sensors. ASIMO has four ultrasonic sensors which are located below his backpack. These sensors detect stationary and moving objects within a 3m range around ASIMO's sides and back.

The best part is when ASIMO knows how to wave to you in return when he sees you waving at him. Isn't modern technology an eye-opening experience? Well, to me it was a moment to share the dream which the Honda engineers had.

Somewhere within ASIMO
In the pursuit of advanced mobility, Honda engineers have dreamt of creating an intelligent multifunctional machine. And what began as a dream has today evolved into a new possible partner for people in the future.

It took 22 years of painstaking research and development to create ASIMO. This extraordinary feat in the field of robotics opened doors to new possibilities in mobility for the future. Although considered extremely difficult at the time, Honda set themselves on this ambitious goal to revolutionise technology and create a Humanoid robot, which is able to function well in society.

With a "challenging spirit", Honda's R&D for ASIMO continues. ASIMO is yet another achievement showcasing Honda's determination and belief in the Power of Dreams, and they are another step closer in turning this and their other dreams into reality.

ASIMO is coming to Penang this weekend

2008-11-27T08:39:00.003+08:00

Finally, the long anticipated moment has arrived. Or should I say I have been waiting for Honda ASIMO to come to Penang so that my kids will have their chance to view or even experience the wonders of the humanoid robot that took the world by storm.

For those who are interested to catch a glimpse of the much talk about ASIMO, you can now get your chance to view it at the famous Queensbay Mall, Penang at the following times :-

27 November 5:30 pm and 8:00 pm
28 November 1:00 pm, 3:00 pm, 5:30 pm and 8:00 pm
29 November 11:30 am, 1:30 pm, 3:30 pm, 5:30 pm and 8:00 pm; and
30 November 11:00 am, 1:00 pm, 3:00 pm, 5:00 pm and 7:45 pm